Anti-Depression Practices: Discreet Immediate Relief

 Fast ‘Discreet’ Toolbox 

WRAP Wellness Recovery Action Plan Toolbox
(my personal favs)


Yawn n Stretch
10 times in a row
(fake yawns can trigger real ones)
(also for stage fright aka performance anxiety)


Seated Isometric Exercises
knee lifts or Leg lifts with table/lap palm press,
(sweet sweet endorphins)


12oz Water
Chug, quickly drink


Stimulants
Coffee/Tea/pop
Energy Drinks


Charming Smile
Hold as long as you can
(not a big fake one but your best flirty twinkle in your eye)
(If asked why just shrug or say ‘I’m in my happy place’)


Positive self-talk

Believe in yourself.  Believe in what a fantastic person you are, in your blessings, in your uniqueness, in your compassion, in your playfulness, in your charm, believe that you shine everyday, that you have incredible insight, that you make a difference in people's lives, that you are loved.  Believe in you.


Affirmations

What consumes your mind controls your life. The moment you start acting like life is a blessing it starts feeling like one. Let go or be dragged. Breath, inhale blessings, exhale smiles. It's a wondrous world and just laugh at such folly as worry. After the storm comes the calm. Be quick to forgive, especially yourself. Talk to yourself like someone you love. We are the light in the dark.


Guided Meditaion

deep sigh
relax your jaw and shoulders
sit up straight
your spine is a tree trunk
gently lean back against it
your seat rooted to the earth
ground yourself in this moment
easy breaths smell the air
light a pleasant smile
feel it glowing on your face
feel it twinkle in your eyes
feel it playful in your heart
feel it brighten in your breath
and use it to light your day


List Happy Places like...

cottage guest bed
running down dunes dunes
garage rain storm
wood boat with dad
christmas tree in the dark


Wellness Wheel (my personal examples)

prayer
mindfulness
deep breathing
music
connect with support
positive affirmations
guided imagery
humor
get little things done, make the bed, do the dishes
(sense of accomplishment)
grounding techniques
journaling
sunshine
walk outdoors
exercise
cheer someone up


Anti-Depression Wellness Wheel
https://thoughtsthatbreatheandwordsthatburn.blogspot.com/2018/01/anti-depression-wellness-wheel.html

Anti-Depression Greater Good (part 3 of 3 Difficulty: INTENSIVE)

41 Science Based Action For A Meaningful Life (part 3 of 3 Difficulty: INTENSIVE)
Greater Good Science Center's Great Good In Action
Sorted By Difficulty Low To High
(the website also lists the evidence, sources, and explainations)
http://ggia.berkeley.edu/


ACTIVE LISTENING


Difficulty: INTENSIVE | Frequency: 1X/WEEK | Duration: 10 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITOften we’ll listen to a conversation partner without really hearing him or her. In the process, we miss opportunities to connect with that person--and even risk making him or her feel neglected, disrespected, and resentful.This exercise helps you express active interest in what the other person has to say and make him or her feel heard—a way to foster empathy and connection. This technique is especially well-suited for difficult conversations (such as arguments with a spouse) and for expressing support. Research suggests that using this technique can help others feel more understood and improve relationship satisfaction.


TIME REQUIREDAt least 10 minutes. Try to make time for this practice at least once per week.


HOW TO DO ITFind a quiet place where you can talk with a conversation partner without interruption or distraction. Invite him or her to share what’s on his or her mind. As he or she does so, try to follow the steps below. You don’t need to cover every step, but the more you do cover, the more effective this practice is likely to be.Paraphrase. Once the other person has finished expressing a thought, paraphrase what he or she said to make sure you understand and to show that you are paying attention. Helpful ways to paraphrase include “What I hear you saying is…” “It sounds like…” and “If I understand you right….”Ask questions. When appropriate, ask questions to encourage the other person to elaborate on his or her thoughts and feelings. Avoid jumping to conclusions about what the other person means. Instead, ask questions to clarify his or her meaning, such as, “When you say_____, do you mean_____”? Express empathy. If the other person voices negative feelings, strive to validate these feelings rather than questioning or defending against them. For example, if the speaker expresses frustration, try to consider why he or she feels that way, regardless of whether you think that feeling is justified or whether you would feel that way yourself were you in his or her position. You might respond, “I can sense that you’re feeling frustrated,” and even “I can understand how that situation could cause frustration.”Use engaged body language. Show that you are engaged and interested by making eye contact, nodding, facing the other person, and maintaining an open and relaxed body posture. Avoid attending to distractions in your environment or checking your phone. Be mindful of your facial expressions: Avoid expressions that might communicate disapproval or disgust.Avoid judgment. Your goal is to understand the other person’s perspective and accept it for what it is, even if you disagree with it. Try not to interrupt with counter-arguments or mentally prepare a rebuttal while the other person is speaking.Avoid giving advice. Problem-solving is likely to be more effective after both conversation partners understand one another’s perspective and feel heard. Moving too quickly into advice-giving can be counterproductive. Take turns. After the other person has had a chance to speak and you have engaged in the active listening steps above, ask if it’s okay for you to share your perspective. When sharing your perspective, express yourself as clearly as possible using “I” statements (e.g., “I feel overwhelmed when you don’t help out around the house”). It may also be helpful, when relevant, to express empathy for the other person’s perspective (e.g., “I know you’ve been very busy lately and don’t mean to leave me hanging…”).




EIGHT ESSENTIALS WHEN FORGIVING


Difficulty: INTENSIVE | Frequency: VARIABLE | Duration: VARIABLE


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITWe have all suffered hurts and betrayals. Choosing to forgive is a way to release the distress that arises again and again from the memory of these incidents—but forgiveness is often a long and difficult process.This exercise outlines several steps that are essential to the process of forgiveness, breaking it down into manageable components. These steps were created by Robert Enright, Ph.D., one of the world’s leading forgiveness researchers. Although the exact process of forgiveness may look different for different people, most anyone can still draw upon Dr. Enright’s basic principles. In certain cases, it may help to consult a trained clinician, especially if you are working through a traumatic event.


TIME REQUIREDEach person will forgive at his or her own pace. We suggest that you move through the steps below based on what works for you.


HOW TO DO IT1. Make a list of people who have hurt you deeply enough to warrant the effort to forgive. You can do this by asking yourself on a 1-to-10 scale, How much pain do I have regarding the way this person treated me?with 1 involving the least pain (but still significant enough to justify the time to forgive) and 10 involving the most pain. Then, order the people on this list from least painful to most painful. Start with the person lowest on this hierarchy (least painful).2. Consider one offense by the first person on your list. Ask yourself: How has this person’s offense negatively impacted by life? Reflect on the psychological and physical harm it may have caused. Consider how your views of humanity and trust of others may have changed as a result of this offense. Recognize that what happened was not okay, and allow yourself to feel any negative emotions that come up.3. When you’re ready, make a decision to forgive. Deciding to forgive involves coming to terms with what you will be doing as you forgive—extending an act of mercy toward the person who has hurt you. When we offer this mercy, we deliberately try to reduce resentment (persistent ill will) toward this person and, instead, offer him or her kindness, respect, generosity, or even love.  It is important to emphasize that forgiveness does not involve excusing the person’s actions, forgetting what happened, or tossing justice aside. Justice and forgiveness can be practiced together. Another important caveat: To forgive is not the same as to reconcile. Reconciliation is a negotiation strategy in which two or more people come together again in mutual trust. You may not choose to reconcile with the person you are forgiving.4. Start with cognitive exercises. Ask yourself these questions about the person who has hurt you: What was life like for this person while growing up? What wounds did he or she suffer from others that could have made him or her more likely to hurt you? What kinds of extra pressures or stresses were in this person’s life at the time he or she offended you? These questions are not meant to excuse or condone, but rather to better understand the other person’s areas of pain, those areas that make him or her vulnerable and human. Understanding why people commit destructive acts can also help us find more effective ways of preventing further destructive acts from occurring in the future. 5. Be aware of any little movement of your heart through which you begin to feel even slight compassion for the person who offended you. This person may have been confused, mistaken, and misguided. He or she may deeply regret his or her actions. As you think about this person, notice if you start to feel softer emotions toward him or her.6. Try to consciously bear the pain that he or she caused you so that you do not end up throwing that pain back onto the one who offended you, or even toward unsuspecting others, such as loved ones who were not the ones who wounded you in the first place. When we are emotionally wounded, we tend to displace our pain onto others. Please be aware of this so that you are not perpetuating a legacy of anger and injuries.7. Think of a gift of some kind that you can offer to the person you are trying to forgive. Forgiveness is an act of mercy—you are extending mercy toward someone who may not have been merciful toward you. This could be through a smile, a returned phone call, or a good word about him or her to others. Always consider your own safety first when extending kindness and goodwill towards this person. If interacting with this person could put you in danger, find another way to express your feelings, such as by writing in a journal or engaging in a practice such as compassion meditation. 8. Finally, try to find meaning and purpose in what you have experienced. For example, as people suffer from the injustices of others, they often realize that they themselves become more sensitive to others’ pain. This, in turn, can give them a sense of purpose toward helping those who are hurting. It may also motivate them to work toward preventing future injustices of a similar kind.Once you complete the forgiveness process with one person on your list, select the next person in line and move up that list until you are forgiving the person who hurt you the most.




AVOIDING THE “FOUR HORSEMEN” IN RELATIONSHIPS


Difficulty: INTENSIVE | Frequency: VARIABLE | Duration: VARIABLE


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITAll couples experience conflict, but researchers have found that how partners deal with this conflict has major implications for the longevity of their relationship. In particular, leading couples researcher John Gottman and his colleagues have identified four specific behaviors, which they call the “four horsemen of the apocalypse, “ that spell doom for couples.To help you guard against these “four horsemen,” this exercise teaches you to recognize them and consider more constructive alternatives. Understanding the signs of these toxic behaviors is a vital step toward avoiding them and having a healthier response to conflict.


TIME REQUIRED20 minutes to read about the “four horsemen.” Then the amount of time to deploy a constructive strategy will depend on the nature of the conflict; the frequency will depend on how often you experience conflict in your relationship. One goal could be to try to use one of these positive strategies—or at least assess the quality of your conflict—once per month.HOW TO DO IT1. Read the descriptions of the “four horsemen” below and consider whether you and/or your partner ever engage in any of these behaviors during conflicts.2. Read the descriptions of the constructive alternatives that can be used in place of the “four horsemen” and consider how you might put these behaviors into practice, if you have not already.3. The next time you find yourself in a conflict with your partner, make an active effort to avoid the “four horsemen” and engage in more constructive behaviors instead. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you slip up—it can be challenging to stay focused during the heat of an argument, and these habits can take time to change.4. After the conflict, make a note of how things went. Did you or your partner engage in any of the “four horsemen” behaviors, and if so, did you catch yourself and try to take a different approach during the conflict? What went well, and what could you improve for next time?5. If/when you feel comfortable, you could invite your partner to participate with you in this practice. The Four Horsemen1. Criticism. Some forms of criticism are constructive, but in this case criticism refers to making negative judgments or proclamations about your partner in extreme, absolute terms. A sign that you may be engaging in this more harmful form of criticism is if you catch yourself using terms like “never” and always”—for example, “You never think about anyone but yourself!” or, “You are always so stubborn!”Note that criticism itself is not necessarily a recipe for relationship failure—the problem with criticism is that excessive or extreme criticism can, over time, lead to the more destructive “horsemen.”Constructive alternative: There’s nothing wrong with voicing concerns and complaints in a relationship, but try to do so in a way that focuses on your own feelings (and how your partner’s behavior affects you)—for instance, by making “I” statements, like “I feel lonely when you come home late for dinner”—and mentions specific negative behaviors rather than making global attacks on his or her entire personality (“I feel neglected when you make plans without me” rather than “You are so inconsiderate!”). See the Active Listening practice for more suggestions along these lines.2. Contempt. Contempt is a more destructive form of criticism that involves treating your partner with disrespect, disgust, condescension, or ridicule. It may involve mean-spirited sarcasm, mockery, eye-rolling, sneering, or name-calling. Contempt can grow over time when a person focuses on the qualities they dislike in their partner and builds up these qualities in their mind.Constructive alternative: Instead of keeping score of all of your partner’s flaws, consider their positive qualities and the things you appreciate most about them. In fact, it may help to write a list of these qualities and return to it when you need a reminder.3. Defensiveness. Defensiveness tends to arise when people feel criticized or attacked; it involves making excuses to avoid taking responsibility, or even deflecting blame onto your partner. If you hear yourself saying “I didn’t do anything wrong,” or blaming your partner for something else after he or she has leveled a complaint against you, ask yourself whether this is really the case. Even if your partner made some mistakes, that doesn’t free you from responsibility for things you could have done differently as well. The problem with defensiveness is that it communicates to your partner that you aren’t really listening to her or taking his concerns seriously. And by introducing new grievances, it can also exacerbate the conflict by making your partner feel attacked and defensive.Constructive alternative: Take the time to hear your partner out and take responsibility when appropriate. A simple, genuine apology can go a long way.4. Stonewalling. Stonewalling involves putting up a (metaphorical) wall between you and your partner by withdrawing, shutting down, and physically and emotionally distancing yourself from your partner. An example of stonewalling is to give your partner the “silent treatment” or to abruptly leave without telling your partner where you’re going. Stonewalling can sometimes result when the first three “horsemen” accumulate and become overwhelming. Stonewalling is especially destructive to relationships because it can make one’s partner feel abandoned and rejected.Constructive alternative: If you need time out to take a few deep breaths and collect your thoughts, let your partner know, and then return to the conversation when you’re ready. This way, your partner will understand that you are taking care of yourself, not trying to reject him.




NINE STEPS TO FORGIVENESS


Difficulty: INTENSIVE | Frequency: VARIABLE | Duration: VARIABLE


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITWe all suffer slights, hurts, and betrayals, and it’s natural to be upset with the people who hurt us, or sometimes even cut off contact with them. But holding onto a grudge too deeply or for too long can wreak havoc on our mental and physical health—it can elevate stress, increase our blood pressure and heart rate, and even compromise our immune system.Forgiveness entails letting go of resentment or vengeance toward an offender and making peace with what happened so you can move on with your life; it doesn’t necessarily mean reconciling with that person. Because forgiveness can be a daunting challenge, Dr. Fred Luskin of Stanford University has designed these nine steps to walk people through the process of forgiving someone who hurt them.The process of forgiveness takes time and should only be initiated when you feel ready and have had time to grieve the wrong that was done to you. Research suggests that practicing forgiveness can not only strengthen relationships but also reduce toxic feelings of stress and anger and boost happiness and optimism.For more on the benefits of forgiveness, see the Greater Good Science Center’s forgiveness definition page.


TIME REQUIREDEach person will forgive at his or her own pace. We suggest that you move through the steps below based on what works for you.


HOW TO DO IT1. Know exactly how you feel about what happened and be able to articulate what about the situation is not OK. Then tell a few trusted people about your experience.2. Make a commitment to yourself to feel better. Forgiveness is for you and no one else.3. Forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciling with the person who upset you or condoning his or her actions. In forgiveness, you seek the peace and understanding that come from blaming people less after they offend you and taking those offenses less personally.4. Get the right perspective on what is happening. Recognize that your primary distress is coming from the hurt feelings, thoughts, and physical upset you are suffering now, not from what hurt you two minutes—or 10 years—ago.5. At the moment you feel upset, practice stress management to soothe your body’s fight or flight response. This could mean taking deep breaths, doing a mindful breathing exercise, taking a walk outside—whatever is most effective for you.6. Give up expecting things from your life or from other people that they do not choose to give you. Remind yourself that you can hope for health, love, friendship, and prosperity, and work hard to get them. However, these are “unenforceable rules”: You will suffer when you demand that these things occur, since you do not have the power to make them happen.7. Put your energy into looking for another way to get your positive goals met than through the experience that has hurt you.8. Remember that a life well-lived is your best revenge. Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, and thereby giving power over you to the person who caused you pain, look for the love, beauty, and kindness around you. Put more energy into appreciating what you have rather than attending to what you do not have.9. Amend the way you look at your past so you remind yourself of your heroic choice to forgive.




OVERCOMING A FEAR


Difficulty: INTENSIVE | Frequency: 1X/MONTH | Duration: VARIABLE


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITSome types of fear—like the fear that stops you from running into a busy street—are useful and necessary. But other types of fear are less rational and more likely to hold you back in life. Fear of public speaking, fear of flying, fear of heights—these are some of the more common ones.


To cope, you may avoid the situations that elicit these fears, or you may try, often unsuccessfully, to counter your fear with reason—for example, by reminding yourself of the very low likelihood of a plane crash.Research suggests that a more effective way to combat fear is to do the thing you least want to do—face your fear head on—but do it one step at a time, in a healthy and safe way. This strategy can help retrain your brain to develop a more positive association with whatever has been triggering your fear. Confronting your fears head-on can also increase your self-confidence and show yourself that you’re capable of doing what might once have seemed impossible. Whereas acting based on fear limits you, facing your fears can be liberating and transformative.


HOW TO DO ITNote: The following guidelines are geared toward addressing mild, everyday fears. Fears related to serious mental illnesses such as post-traumatic stress disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and social anxiety disorder should be addressed with the help of a mental health professional.Sometimes one or two scary experiences can cause us to fear things that we don’t rationally need to fear; some fears aren’t based on first-hand experience at all. Either way, overcoming these fears often requires that we develop a more positive—or at least less negative—association with the thing that we fear. Here’s how:Start with small doses. The first step is to expose yourself to small doses of the fear-inducing activity in a safe context. For example, if public speaking makes you nervous, youcould start by seeking out a low-pressure speaking opportunity with a small, supportive audience, in a setting where you don’t have to worry about being perfectly articulate—perhaps giving a toast at a friend’s birthday party. Or if you’d like to learn to rock climb but are afraid of heights, you could start by spending time observing and assisting other climbers.Repeat the activity until you start to feel the fear dissipate. Over time, repeated exposure to a safe, non-harmful version of whatever made you afraid can reduce the negative association and replace it with a neutral or positive association. For example, repeatedly seeing other people climb without falling may begin to overwrite your negative association with heights. And the more you fly and land safely, the less dangerous flying is likely to feel. Gradually increase the challenge. After you begin to feel more comfortable with small doses, try taking it up a notch. For example, you could go from watching others climb to climbing a short distance yourself. Or you could volunteer to present the results of a team project to co-workers or fellow students. From here, you can continue to incrementally ratchet up the challenge until you reach your goal, whether that’s to scale Mt. Everest, give a talk in front of hundreds of people, or fly to a new continent.Your fear may never be fully extinguished, but hopefully it will hold less power over you and not prevent you from achieving important goals and enjoying your life. In the words of Mark Twain, “Courage is not the absence of fear. It is acting in spite of it.”



END
end of 3 of 3

Anti-Depression Greater Good (part 2 of 3 Difficulty: MODERATE)

41 Science Based Action For A Meaningful Life (part 2 of 3 Difficulty: MODERATE)
Greater Good Science Center's Great Good In Action
Sorted By Difficulty Low To High
(the website also lists the evidence, sources, and explainations)
http://ggia.berkeley.edu/



BODY SCAN MEDITATION


Difficulty: MODERATE | Frequency: 3X/WEEK | Duration: 30 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITThis exercise asks you to systematically focus your attention on different parts of your body, from your feet to the muscles in your face. It is designed to help you develop a mindful awareness of your bodily sensations, and to relieve tension wherever it is found. Research suggests that this mindfulness practice can help reduce stress, improve well-being, and decrease aches and pains.


TIME REQUIRED20-45 minutes, three to six days per week for four weeks. Research suggests that people who practice the body scan for longer reap more benefits from this practice.


HOW TO DO ITThe body scan can be performed while lying down, sitting, or in other postures. The steps below are a guided meditation designed to be done while sitting. You can listen to audio of this three-minute guided meditation, produced by UCLA’s Mindful Awareness Research Center (MARC), in the player; if it doesn't play, you can find it here or download it from MARC's website.*


http://marc.ucla.edu/body.cfm?id=22


Especially for those new to the body scan, we recommend performing this practice with the audio. However, you can also use the script below for guidance for yourself or for leading this practice for others.


Begin by bringing your attention into your body. You can close your eyes if that’s comfortable for you.You can notice your body seated wherever you’re seated, feeling the weight of your body on the chair, on the floor.Take a few deep breaths. And as you take a deep breath, bring in more oxygen enlivening the body. And as you exhale, have a sense of relaxing more deeply.You can notice your feet on the floor, notice the sensations of your feet touching the floor. The weight and pressure, vibration, heat. You can notice your legs against the chair, pressure, pulsing, heaviness, lightness. Notice your back against the chair. Bring your attention into your stomach area. If your stomach is tense or tight, let it soften. Take a breath.Notice your hands. Are your hands tense or tight. See if you can allow them to soften.Notice your arms. Feel any sensation in your arms. Let your shoulders be soft.Notice your neck and throat. Let them be soft. Relax.Soften your jaw. Let your face and facial muscles be soft.Then notice your whole body present. Take one more breath.Be aware of your whole body as best you can. Take a breath. And then when you’re ready, you can open your eyes.* You can also listen to a 45-minute version of the Body Scan that the UC San Diego Center for Mindfulness uses in its trainings in Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction.


http://health.ucsd.edu/av/mindfulness/45MinBodyScan07mono.mp3




RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS


Difficulty: MODERATE | Frequency: 1X/DAY | Duration: VARIABLE


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITWe all perform acts of kindness at one time or another. These acts may be large or small, and their beneficiaries may not even be aware of them. Yet their effects can be profound—not only on the recipient but on the giver as well. This exercise asks you to perform five acts of kindness in one day as a way of both promoting kindness in the world and cultivating happiness in yourself and others.


TIME REQUIREDVaries depending on your acts of kindness. Could be anywhere from several minutes to several hours.


HOW TO DO ITOne day this week, perform five acts of kindness—all five in one day. It doesn’t matter if the acts are big or small, but it is more effective if you perform a variety of acts.The acts do not need to be for the same person—the person doesn’t even have to be aware of them. Examples include feeding a stranger's parking meter, donating blood, helping a friend with a chore, or providing a meal to a person in need.After each act, write down what you did in at least one or two sentences; for more of a happiness boost, also write down how it made you feel.




FINDING SILVER LININGS


Difficulty: MODERATE | Frequency: 1X/DAY | Duration: 10 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITWe all tend to ruminate on things that have gone wrong in our lives—a mistake we made at work, an evening that didn’t go as planned. We might even think about them so often that our lives seem filled with these mishaps and disappointments. Focusing on them too much, however, can cast a pall over our lives and even be associated with depressive thinking.Looking on the bright side even when things go wrong is a key component of optimism, which research links to lower rates of depression, a better ability to cope with stress, and more relationship satisfaction, among other benefits. While finding the silver lining on a negative experience might (understandably) make you fear turning into a Pollyanna, many of us have a tendency to look on the bright side too rarely, not too often. This exercise is designed to help you achieve a healthier balance.


TIME REQUIRED10 minutes daily for three weeksHOW TO DO IT1. To start, list five things that make you feel like your life is enjoyable, enriching, and/or worthwhile at this moment. These things can be as general as “being in good health” or as specific as “drinking a delicious cup of coffee this morning.” The purpose of this first step is to help you shift into a positive state of mind about your life in general.2. Next, think about the most recent time when something didn’t go your way, or when you felt frustrated, irritated, or upset.3. In a few sentences, briefly describe the situation in writing.4. Then, list three things that can help you see the bright side of this situation. For example, perhaps you missed your bus this morning. Three ways to look on the bright side of this situation might be:Even though you missed the bus, you got some good exercise when you were running to catch it.You’re fortunate to live in a city where there was another bus just 10 minutes later, or where buses run reliably at all.Ten years from now, you likely won’t remember what happened this morning.




CAPITALIZING ON POSITIVE EVENTS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITWhen people close to us—friends, family members, significant others—tell us about positive things that happened to them, these moments have the potential to make us feel significantly closer to one another—depending on how we respond. This activity offers tips for responding in a way that has been shown to nurture positive feelings on both sides of the relationship and to increase feelings of closeness and relationship satisfaction.


TIME REQUIREDAt least 5 minutes. Try to make time for this practice at least once per week.


HOW TO DO ITAsk a friend, family member, colleague, romantic partner, or other acquaintance to tell you about a good thing that happened to him or her today. It does not matter what type of event or how important it was, as long as it was a positive thing that happened to him or her and he or she feels comfortable discussing it.As they share, listen and try to respond in an “active-constructive” manner, meaning that you:Make good eye contact, showing that you are interested in and engaged in what they have to say.Express positive emotion by smiling, or even cheering (if appropriate!).Make enthusiastic comments—e.g., “That sounds great,” “You must be so excited,” or “Your hard work is definitely paying off.”Ask constructive questions to find out more about the positive aspects of the event. For example, if the person tells you about receiving recognition at work for a project he or she completed, you could ask for more details about the project, of what aspects of the project he or she feels especially proud, and how it felt to receive recognition for it.Comment on the positive implications and potential benefits of the event.  For example, “I bet this means you have a better chance of getting a promotion this year.”Many people, when they first hear about this exercise, worry that when they try to do it, their responses will sound phony or scripted. However, once they start, people report that it feels natural and easy to do.One strategy is to pick a specific aspect of the event that resonates with you and begin by commenting on that: “You seem really happy about what your boss said—tell me more.” Or, “It must have been satisfying to do so well on something you worked so hard for.”




COMPASSION MEDITATION


Difficulty: MODERATE | Frequency: 1X/DAY | Duration: 30 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITHaving compassion means that you want others to be free from suffering and you have the urge to help end their suffering. It is not only vital to a kind and just society but also, research suggests, a path to better health and stronger relationships.Yet cultivating compassion for others—and yourself—can sometimes feel like an emotionally taxing and demanding task. This exercise walks you through a meditation grounded in simple techniques—paying attention to your breath and guided imagery—to help you nurture compassion toward a loved one, yourself, a neutral person, and even an enemy.


TIME REQUIRED30 minutes a day for two weeks.


HOW TO DO ITThis exercise draws on a guided meditation created by researcher Helen Weng and her colleagues at the Center for Investigating Healthy Minds (CIHM) at the University of Wisconsin, Madison. Dr. Weng called this meditation a “compassion meditation,” though a similar kind of meditation is also referred to as a “loving-kindness meditation.”We recommend listening to audio of this guided meditation in the player below; you can also download it from the CIHM's website. We have included a script of this meditation to help you follow it yourself or teach it to others. In brackets are the lengths of the pauses in the original guided meditation, to give you a sense of how much time to allot to each step.


http://www.investigatinghealthyminds.org/cihmAudio.html


SettlingPlease settle into a comfortable position and allow yourself to relax.


Take a deep breath and release. [2 seconds] For a few moments, just focus on your breath and clear your mind of worries. Notice when you are breathing in … and breathing out. Let yourself experience and be aware of the sensations of breathing. [10 seconds]


Loving-kindness & Compassion for a Loved OnePicture someone who is close to you, someone toward whom you feel a great amount of love. Notice how this love feels in your heart.Notice the sensations around your heart. Perhaps you feel a sensation of warmth, openness, and tenderness. [10 seconds]Continue breathing, and focus on these feelings as you visualize your loved one. As you breathe out, imagine that you are extending a golden light that holds your warm feelings from the center of your heart. Imagine that the golden light reaches out to your loved one, bringing him or her peace and happiness. At the same time, silently recite these phrases. May you have happiness.May you be free from suffering.May you experience joy and ease.May you have happiness.May you be free from suffering.May you experience joy and ease.[1 minute]As you silently repeat these phrases, remember to extend the golden light to your loved one from your heart. Feel with all your heart that you wish your loved one happiness and freedom from suffering.


Compassion for a Loved OneNow think of a time when this person was suffering. Maybe they experienced an illness, an injury, or a difficult time in a relationship. [15 seconds]Notice how you feel when you think of his or her suffering. How does your heart feel? Do the sensations change? Do you continue to feel warmth, openness and tenderness? Are there other sensations, perhaps an aching sensation? [10 seconds]Continue to visualize your loved one as you breathe.  Imagine that you are extending the golden light from your heart to your loved one, and that the golden light is easing his or her suffering. Extend this light out to them during your exhalation, with the strong heartfelt wish that they be free from his or her suffering. Recite silently to him or her:May you be free from this suffering.May you have joy and happiness.May you be free from this suffering.May you have joy and happiness.[1 minute]Notice how this feels in your heart. What happened to your heart? Did the sensations change? Did you continue to feel warmth, openness and tenderness? Were there other sensations, an aching sensation perhaps? Did you have a wish to take away the other’s suffering?  [30 seconds]


Compassion for SelfContemplate a time when you have suffered yourself. Perhaps you experienced a conflict with someone you care about, or did not succeed in something you wanted, or were physically ill. [15 seconds]Notice how you feel when you think of your suffering. How does your heart feel? Do you continue to feel warmth, openness, and tenderness? Are there other sensations, perhaps an aching sensation? [10 seconds]Just as we wish for our loved one’s suffering to end, we wish that our own suffering would end. We may also envision our own pain and suffering leaving us so that we may experience happiness.Continue to visualize yourself as you breathe. Imagine that the golden light emanating from your heart is easing your suffering. With each exhalation, feel the light emanating within you, with the strong heartfelt wish that you be free from your suffering. Silently recite to yourself:May I be free from this suffering.May I have joy and happiness.May I be free from this suffering.May I have joy and happiness.[2 minutes]Again, notice how this feels in your heart. What kind of sensations did you feel? Did they change from when you were envisioning your own suffering? How is this feeling different from when you wished your loved one’s suffering to be relieved? Did you feel warmth, openness and tenderness? Were there other sensations such as pressure? Did you have a wish to take away your own suffering? [30 seconds]


Compassion for a Neutral PersonNow visualize someone you neither like nor dislike—someone you may see in your everyday life, such as a classmate with whom you are not familiar, a bus driver, or a stranger you pass on the street. [5 seconds]Although you are not familiar with this person, think of how this person may suffer in his or her own life. This person may also have conflicts with loved ones, or struggled with an addiction, or may have suffered illness. Imagine a situation in which this person may have suffered. [30 seconds]Notice your heart center. Does it feel different? Do you feel more warmth, openness and tenderness? Are there other sensations, perhaps an aching sensation? How does your heart feel different from when you were envisioning your own or a loved one’s suffering?  [10 seconds]Continue to visualize this person as you breathe. Imagine that you are extending the golden light from your heart to them, and that the golden light is easing his or her suffering. Extend this light out to them during your exhalation, with the strong heartfelt wish that he or she be free from suffering. See if this wish can be as strong as the wish for your own or a loved one’s suffering to be relieved.  Silently recite to him or her:May you be free from this suffering.May you have joy and happiness.May you be free from this suffering.May you have joy and happiness.[2 minutes]Again, notice how this feels in your heart. Did the sensations change from when you were envisioning this person’s suffering? Did you continue to feel warmth, openness and tenderness? Were there other sensations? Did you have a wish to take away this person’s suffering? How were these feelings different from when you were wishing to take away your own or a loved one’s suffering? [30 seconds]


Compassion for an EnemyNow visualize someone with whom you have difficulty in your life. This may be a parent or child with whom you disagree, an ex-girlfriend or boyfriend, a roommate with whom you had an argument, or a co-worker with whom you do not get along. [5 seconds]Although you may have negative feelings towards this person, think of how this person has suffered in his or her own life. This person has also had conflicts with loved ones, or has dealt with failures, or may have suffered illness. Think of a situation in which this person may have suffered. [30 seconds]Notice your heart center. Does it feel different? Do you feel more warmth, openness and tenderness? Are there other sensations, perhaps an aching sensation? How does your heart feel different from when you were envisioning your own or a loved one’s suffering? [10 seconds]Continue to visualize this person as you breathe. Imagine that you are extending the golden light from your heart to him or her, and that the golden light is easing his or her suffering. Extend this light out to him or her during your exhalation, with the strong heartfelt wish that he or she be free from suffering. See if this wish can be as strong as the wish for your own or a loved one’s suffering to be relieved. Silently recite to him or her:May you be free from this suffering.May you have joy and happinessMay you be free from this suffering.May you have joy and happiness.[1 minute]If you have difficulty in wishing for this person’s suffering to be relieved, you may think of a positive interaction you have had with this person that can help you in wishing them joy and happiness. Perhaps there were times when you got along, laughed together, or worked well together on an assignment. Continue to silently recite:May you be free from this suffering.May you have joy and happiness.[2 minutes]Again, notice how this feels in your heart. Did the sensations change? Did you feel warmth, openness and tenderness? How were these feelings different from when you were wishing for your own or a loved one’s suffering to end? Were there other sensations, perhaps a tightness in the chest? Did you have a wish to take away this person’s suffering? [30 seconds]


Compassion for All BeingsNow that we are almost at the end of this meditation, let’s end with wish for all other beings’ suffering to be relieved. Just as I wish to have peace, happiness, and to be free from suffering, so do all beings. [10 seconds]Now bask in the joy of this open-hearted wish to ease the suffering of all people and how this attempt brings joy, happiness, and compassion in your heart at this very moment.You have now finished this compassion meditation session.




GRATITUDE LETTER


Difficulty: MODERATE | Frequency: VARIABLE | Duration: 30 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITFeeling gratitude can improve health and happiness; expressing gratitude also strengthens relationships. Yet sometimes expressions of thanks can be fleeting and superficial. This exercise encourages you to express gratitude in a thoughtful, deliberate way by writing—and, ideally, delivering—a letter of gratitude to a person you have never properly thanked.


TIME REQUIREDAt least 15 minutes for writing the letter and at least 30 minutes for the visit


HOW TO DO ITCall to mind someone who did something for you for which you are extremely grateful but to whom you never expressed your deep gratitude. This could be a relative, friend, teacher, or colleague. Try to pick someone who is still alive and could meet you face-to-face in the next week. It may be most helpful to select a person or act that you haven’t thought about for a while—something that isn’t always on your mind.Now, write a letter to one of these people, guided by the following steps.Write as though you are addressing this person directly (“Dear ______”)Don’t worry about perfect grammar or spelling.Describe in specific terms what this person did, why you are grateful to this person, and how this person’s behavior affected your life. Try to be as concrete as possible.Describe what you are doing in your life now and how you often remember his or her efforts.Try to keep your letter to roughly one page (~300 words).Next, you should try if at all possible to deliver your letter in person, following these steps:Plan a visit with the recipient. Let that person know you’d like to see him or her and have something special to share, but don’t reveal the exact purpose of the meeting.When you meet, let the person know that you are grateful to them and would like to read a letter expressing your gratitude; ask that he or she refrain from interrupting until you’re done.Take your time reading the letter. While you read, pay attention to his or her reaction as well as your own.After you have read the letter, be receptive to his or her reaction and discuss your feelings together.Remember to give the letter to the person when you leave.If physical distance keeps you from making a visit, you may choose to arrange a phone or video chat.




BEST POSSIBLE SELF


Difficulty: MODERATE | Frequency: 1X/DAY | Duration: 15 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITSometimes our goals in life can be elusive. But research suggests that building optimism about the future can motivate people to work toward that desired future and thus make it more likely to become a reality.This exercise asks you to imagine your life going as well as it possibly could, then write about this best possible future. By doing so, research suggests that you’ll not only increase your happiness in the present but pave the way for sustained happiness down the line.


TIME REQUIRED15 minutes per day for two weeks


HOW TO DO ITTake a moment to imagine your life in the future. What is the best possible life you can imagine? Consider all of the relevant areas of your life, such as your career, academic work, relationships, hobbies, and/or health. What would happen in these areas of your life in your best possible future?For the next 15 minutes, write continuously about what you imagine this best possible future to be. Use the instructions below to help guide you through this process.It may be easy for this exercise to lead you to examine how your current life may not match this best possible future. You may be tempted to think about ways in which accomplishing goals has been difficult for you in the past, or about financial/time/social barriers to being able to make these accomplishments happen. For the purpose of this exercise, however, we encourage you to focus on the future—imagine a brighter future in which you are your best self and your circumstances change just enough to make this best possible life happen.  This exercise is most useful when it is very specific—if you think about a new job, imagine exactly what you would do, who you would work with, and where it would be. The more specific you are, the more engaged you will be in the exercise and the more you’ll get out of it.  Be as creative and imaginative as you want, and don’t worry about grammar or spelling.




EXPRESSIVE WRITING


Difficulty: MODERATE | Frequency: 1X/DAY | Duration: 15 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITMost of us have gone through times of great stress and emotional upheaval. This exercise gives you a simple, effective way to deal with these challenges and the difficult feelings they bring up. Research suggests that completing this exercise can increase happiness, reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety, strengthen the immune system, and improve work and school performance. These benefits have been shown to persist for months.


TIME REQUIRED20 minutes per day for four consecutive days


HOW TO DO ITOver the next four days, write down your deepest emotions and thoughts about an emotional challenge that has been affecting your life. In your writing, really let go and explore the event and how it has affected you. You might tie this experience to your childhood, your relationship with your parents, people you have loved or love now, or even your career. Write continuously for 20 minutes.Tips for writing:Find a time and place where you won’t be disturbedWrite continuously for at least 20 minutesDon’t worry about spelling or grammarWrite only for yourselfWrite about something extremely personal and important to youDeal only with events or situations you can handle now—that is, don’t write about a trauma too soon after it has happened if it feels too overwhelming.Optional final step: After the four days of writing, try writing from the perspectives of other people involved in the event or situation.




BEST POSSIBLE SELF FOR RELATIONSHIPS


Difficulty: MODERATE | Frequency: 1X/DAY | Duration: 15 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITSometimes our goals in life can be elusive, especially when it comes to creating the kinds of relationships that we feel good about. But research suggests that building optimism about the future can motivate people to work toward that desired future and thus make it more likely to become a reality.This exercise asks you to imagine your relationships going as well as they possibly could, then write about this best possible future. By doing so, research suggests that you’ll not only increase your happiness but pave the way for stronger and more fulfilling connections.


TIME REQUIRED15 minutes per day for two weeks.


HOW TO DO ITTake a moment to imagine your life in the future, and focus specifically on your relationships. What is the best possible romantic, social, and family life you can imagine? This could involve, for example, having a supportive partner, good relationships with your children and/or parents, and a close group of friends. Think about what your best possible relationships would look like for you.For the next 15 minutes, write continuously about what you imagined about these best possible future relationships. Use the instructions below to help guide you through this process.It may be easy for this exercise to lead you to examine how your current relationships may not match the relationships you’d like to have in this best possible future. You may be tempted to think about ways in which achieving the relationships you want has been difficult for you in the past, or about financial/time/social barriers to developing these relationships. For the purpose of this exercise, however, we encourage you to focus on the future—imagine a brighter future in which you are your best self and your circumstances change just enough to make these desired social connections happen.This exercise is most useful when it is very specific—if you think about having a better relationship with your parents, for instance, describe exactly what would be different in the ways you relate to each other; if you think about having a partner or new friend, describe how they interact with you, what you might do together, and so on. The more specific you are, the more engaged you will be in the exercise and the more you’ll get out of it.Be as creative and imaginative as you want, and don’t worry about grammar or spelling.




MAKE GIVING FEEL GOOD


Difficulty: MODERATE | Frequency: 1X/WEEK | Duration: VARIABLE


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITOne of the most encouraging findings to have emerged from the science of happiness is that people take delight in giving to others. In fact, several studies have found that spending money on others brings more happiness than spending on yourself. However, the research suggests that this isn’t always true; certain factors need to be in place in order to maximize the psychological benefits of giving.This exercise walks you through three key factors, highlighting the ways that acts of generosity—in yourself or others—can have the most positive effects on happiness.


TIME REQUIREDThe time required to follow all of these steps will vary, depending on circumstance. However, we suggest that you try to perform an act of kindness, guided by one or more of these steps, at least once per week.


HOW TO DO ITWhile there are many factors that determine whether or how giving will promote happiness, below are three strategies that have been supported by research. They were singled out by researchers Elizabeth Dunn and Michael Norton in their book, Happy Money: The Science of Smarter Spending.As Dunn and Norton report, these strategies can not only boost our own happiness but help us create more positive giving experiences for children, students, employees, donors, and others.1. Make it a choice. Research suggests that when we feel obligated to give—such as when we feel cornered by an aggressive request—we are less likely to enjoy it. When people we care about ask us to contribute to a fundraiser or loan them money, it can be hard to say no. In these situations it can be helpful to step back and ask yourself, Do I really want to contribute? Remind yourself that it is OK to say no. This may result in less overall giving, but in many cases you may still decide you genuinely want to contribute, and those gifts will feel more gratifying and sincere.And if you’re soliciting donations from others, keep in mind that even subtle changes to the language you use can make a big difference. Research suggests that if you explicitly remind people that it’s their choice whether or not to help someone in need, they feel happier after they help out, provide higher-quality assistance, and feel a closer sense of connection to the person they helped.2. Make a connection. Giving to those close to us often feels the best, but we can also use giving as an opportunity to become closer to them—and enjoy greater happiness as a result. For instance, instead of buying a gift certificate for someone, accompany them to the store and buy the gift with them. This will allow you to spend time with them and strengthen your relationship—and you will get to see the smile on their face while they’re enjoying their gift. Even if you’re giving to a stranger, there are often ways to increase the sense of connection, such as by taking the initiative to learn about the recipient. The education funding website DonorsChoose.org has tried to create a sense of emotional connection between donors and recipients by helping the donors learn more the teachers and students they are helping, beyond the financial transaction.3. Make an impact. Witnessing the positive impact of a gift in others’ lives is a major source of the happiness. And yet it can sometimes be hard to see how a contribution makes a concrete difference for others. That’s why it  helps to seek out charities, like DonorsChoose or Spread the Net, that try to make the concrete impact salient for donors. You can also take the initiative to research the causes you support and understand the specific impact of your contribution. See this video of a bone marrow donor meeting the little girl whose life he saved for an example of how powerful it can be to learn about the impact of your generosity.




MEANINGFUL PHOTOS


Difficulty: MODERATE | Frequency: 1X/DAY | Duration: 15 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITResearch suggests that finding greater meaning in life helps people cope with stress and improves their overall health and well-being—it’s what makes life feel worth living. But finding meaning in life can sometimes feel like an elusive task. In our day-to-day lives, it can be easy to lose sight of the big picture—we tend to focus more on the mundane than the deeply meaningful.Yet research suggests that there are potential sources of meaning all around us, from the moments of connection we share with others, to the beauty of nature, to the work that we do and the things we create. This exercise helps you bring these meaningful things into focus—literally. By having you photograph, then write about, things that are meaningful to you, it encourages you to pay closer attention to the varied sources of meaning in your life, large and small, and reflect on why they are important to you.


TIME REQUIRED15 minutes per day for one week to take the photos. One hour to do the writing exercise. While it is not necessary to take a photograph every day, assume that the photography will take you a total of 90 minutes over the course of a week, with an additional hour for the writing.HOW TO DO IT


1. Over the next week, take photographs of things that make your life feel meaningful or full of purpose. These can be people, places, objects, pets. If you are not able to take photos of these things—like if they’re not nearby—you can take photos of souvenirs, reminders, websites, or even other photos. Try to take at least nine photographs.2. At the end of the week: If you used a digital camera, upload your photos to a computer. If you used a non-digital camera, have your photos developed.3. Then, once you have collected all of your photos and items, take time to look at and reflect on each one. For each photo or item, write down a response to the following question: “What does this photo represent, and why is it meaningful?"




SHARED IDENTITY


Difficulty: MODERATE | Frequency: 1X/WEEK | Duration: 15 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITResearch suggests that humans have a deeply rooted propensity to be kind and generous, but some obstacles can prevent us from acting on those altruistic impulses. One of the greatest barriers to altruism is that of group difference: We feel much less motivated to help someone if they don’t seem to belong to our group or tribe—that is, if they’re not a member of our “in-group”—and we may even feel hostile toward members of an “out-group.”But studies have consistently found that who we see as part of our “in-group” can be malleable. That’s why a key to promoting altruism, which involves acting to promote someone else’s welfare even at a risk or cost to oneself, is recognizing commonalities with someone else, even if those similarities aren’t immediately apparent. This exercise is designed to help expand one's sense of shared identity with others.


TIME REQUIREDTake 15 minutes to go through the steps below. Try to repeat these steps with a different person at least once per week.


HOW TO DO IT1. Think of a person in your life who seems to be very different from you in every way that you can imagine. They might have different interests, different religious or political beliefs, or different life experiences. They may even be someone with whom you have had a personal conflict, or who belongs to a group that has been in conflict with a group to which you belong.2. Next, make a list of all of the things that you most likely share in common with this person. Perhaps you both work for the same company or go to the same school. Maybe you both have children, or a significant other. Probably you have both had your heart broken at one point or another, or have lost a loved one. At the broadest level, you both belong to the human species, which means that you share 99.9% of your DNA.3. Review this list of commonalities. How do they make you see this person in a new light? Instead of simply seeing this person as someone unfamiliar to you, or as a member of an out-group, now try to see this person as an individual, one whose tastes and experiences might overlap with yours in certain ways.4. Repeat this exercise whenever you meet someone who initially seems different from you, with whom you have a conflict, or who makes you feel uncomfortable.




GOAL VISUALIZATION


Difficulty: MODERATE | Frequency: 1X/DAY | Duration: 10 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITWhen we face a daunting task, sometimes the hardest part is getting started. To help you overcome that big initial hurdle, this exercise asks you to describe a short-term goal and to visualize the steps you will take to achieve it. In the process, it helps build your confidence that you will be able to reach that goal.Having confidence in your ability to achieve your goals is a key component of optimism, which research links to greater health and happiness, including lower rates of depression, a better ability to cope with stress, and more relationship satisfaction.


TIME REQUIRED10 minutes daily for 3 weeks


HOW TO DO IT1. Identify one goal that you would like to achieve in the next day or two and briefly describe it in writing. Make sure that this goal is realistic and not too time-consuming (e.g., “tidy up the hall closet” rather than “clean the entire house top to bottom”) and something that is important to you (e.g., “spend more time with the kids” rather than “learn about the life cycle of the common fly”).2. To help you visualize how you will go about accomplishing this goal, describe in writing the steps that you will take to get there.For example, if your goal is to tidy up the hall closet, these are the steps that you might take to achieve it:a) schedule one hour tonight that you will devote to cleaning;b) turn off your cell phone/other distractors;c) put on some comfortable clothes;d) turn on some upbeat music;e) break down the job into sub-tasks: take everything out of the closet, sweep the floor, dust the shelves, get rid of stuff that you don’t need any more, sort the things that you want to keep and put them in boxes, put the boxes back in the closet;f) remind yourself that it’s ok if you don’t do everything perfectly, or complete the entire task.




SAVORING WALK


Difficulty: MODERATE | Frequency: 1X/DAY | Duration: 15 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITIn our daily lives, we don’t always notice or acknowledge the pleasant and positive things around us. We may be in a rush, distracted by other thoughts, or busy checking our phones. As a result, we miss opportunities for positive experiences and positive emotions—the building blocks of long-term happiness.Research suggests that we can maximize the benefits of the good things around us by consciously savoring them rather than letting them pass us by or taking them for granted. This exercise offers one basic way to start savoring the bounty of goodness around us—not by going to some exotic destination but by paying more careful attention to the sights, smells, and sounds we often neglect.


TIME REQUIRED20 minutes daily for at least one week.


HOW TO DO ITSet aside 20 minutes to take a walk outside by yourself every day for a week. Try to stick to this schedule unless the weather is extremely bad. You can still do this exercise in a light rain—provided you have a decent umbrella and rain jacket.As you walk, try to notice as many positive things around you as you can. These can be sights, sounds, smells, or other sensations. For example, you could focus on the breathtaking height of a tree you never really noticed before, the intricate architecture of a building on your block, the dance of sunshine off a window or puddle, the smell of grass or flowers, or the way other people look our for each other as they navigate crowded streets.As you notice each of these positive things, acknowledge each one in your mind—don’t just let them slip past you. Pause for a moment as you hear or see each thing and make sure it registers with your conscious awareness, really take it in. Try to identify what it is about that thing that makes it pleasurable to you.Try to walk a different route each day so you don’t become too accustomed to any of these things and start to take them for granted.




CREATING AND RECALLING POSITIVE EVENTS


Difficulty: MODERATE | Frequency: VARIABLE | Duration: 1 DAY


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITOne of the most direct ways to increase happiness is to do more of the things that make us happy. But when life gets busy, we don’t always remember to make time for enjoyable activities. Intentionally scheduling a variety of enjoyable activities into the day can help overcome this barrier to happiness.This exercise prompts you to engage in a variety of activities associated with happiness and reflect on how they make you feel. Different kinds of activities bring different kinds of satisfaction, all of which contribute uniquely to happiness. Research suggests that variety and novelty in daily activities is an important component of happiness, so trying a number of different activities can prevent you from getting so used to any one activity that it ceases to bring you pleasure.


TIME REQUIREDThe better part of one day


HOW TO DO ITThis exercise is best completed on a day (or two) when you have a lot of free time, such as on a weekend. Step two may require some advanced planning with others. In the morning when you first wake up, review the following instructions and make a plan for the day.Choose an activity that you enjoy doing alone, such as reading, listening to music, watching a TV show, or meditating. Set aside some time during the day to complete this activity.Choose an activity that you enjoy doing with others, such as going out for coffee, going for a bike ride, or watching a movie. Set aside some time during the day to complete this activity.Choose an activity that you consider personally important and meaningful, such as helping a neighbor, calling to check in on a sick friend who is sick, or volunteering for a local charitable organization.At the end of the day, record what occurred during and after each of your three activities. What did you do, and how did it make you feel? Did different activities make you feel different kinds of happiness? What feelings or associations linger with you now, after you have completed all of the activities?




ELICITING ALTRUISM


Difficulty: MODERATE | Frequency: 1X/MONTH | Duration: VARIABLE


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITResearch suggests that humans have a strong propensity for kindness and generosity, and that kindness improves the health and happiness of the giver, not only of the receiver. We’ll often be kind to others even at a cost or risk to ourselves--the definition of altruism. But we don't always act on our altruistic instincts—barriers can get in the way.Fortunately, studies have also identified ways to overcome these barriers to altruism. Here we outline three research-based strategies for eliciting altruism from yourself or others.


TIME REQUIREDHow long this practice takes you will vary depending on which strategy you choose, but make it a goal to follow one of these strategies at least once a month.


HOW TO DO ITBelow are three different strategies that are effective at encouraging kindness and generosity. You can try them individually or in combination with one another. Click on the link at the end of each strategy for more detailed instructions on how to perform it.There are many different creative ways that you can put these principles into practice. We encourage you to share your experience with them in the Comments & Reviews section below.Create reminders of connectedness. Research suggests that when people are reminded of human connection, they behave more altruistically, even when those reminders of connection are very subtle. Something as simple as a quote evoking shared goals, words like “community,” or a picture conveying warmth or friendships—they can all have an impact. Take a moment to look around your home, office, or classroom and consider how you could add words, images, or objects that communicate connection. For more on this technique, see the Reminders of Connectedness practice.Put a human face on a problem. Research shows that humans are more likely to want to help others if they see them as individuals, not just abstract statistics. To motivate people to give their time or resources to a cause, like aiding in disaster relief, present them with a personal story of a single, identifiable victim, ideally accompanied by a photo. This will help them feel a greater sense of personal connection and concern, especially if they are of a similar age to the victim or have other things in common. It is important not to overwhelm others with too many stories or facts—they can have the paradoxical effect of impeding the urge to give. For more on this technique, see the practice about Putting a Human Face on Suffering.Encourage identification with “outgroup” members. One of the greatest barriers to altruism is that of group difference: We feel much less obligated to help someone if he or she doesn’t seem to be a member of our “ingroup”—we may even feel hostile toward members of an “outgroup.” But research suggests that who we see as part of our “ingroup” can be malleable. That’s why a key to promoting altruism is emphasizing similarities that cut across group boundaries. On the broadest level, this could mean remembering that regardless of our political, cultural, or religious affiliations, we are all human beings and share common human experiences. For more on this technique, see the Shared Identity practice.




REMINDERS OF CONNECTEDNESS


Difficulty: MODERATE | Frequency: 1X/MONTH | Duration: VARIABLE


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITResearch suggests that humans have a strong propensity for kindness and generosity, and that kindness improves the health and happiness of the giver, not only of the receiver. But we don't always act on our altruistic instincts.Fortunately, studies have identified ways to elicit people’s deeply rooted propensities for kindness. One of the most effective is to evoke a sense of connectedness among people. Research suggests that even subtle reminders of connection, operating below the conscious level, can lead to concrete, measurable increases in altruistic behavior. This exercise walks you through the process of considering how you can add reminders of social connection to your home, office, or classroom.


TIME REQUIREDTake 10 minutes to complete the first three steps; after that, the amount of time it will take to complete the rest will vary. Try to go through this exercise at least once per month. After evaluating your classroom, office, or a room in your home, next month consider another room or environment over which you have control.


HOW TO DO ITTake a moment to look around your home, office, or classroom. What kinds of objects, words, and images surround you?Count how many of these objects, words, and images are related to social connectedness. This could include pictures of people interacting, words like “community,” “together,” or “friendship,” or even two stuffed animals facing one another on a shelf.Notice whether there are any empty walls or shelves where you could add new objects related to connectedness, or places where you could replace existing objects.Next time you’re out shopping, looking through your belongings, or (for parents or teachers) developing an art project for your children or students, see if you can find objects that evoke connection, even in a subtle way, and use them to fill these empty places or to replace existing objects.Finally, consider how the furniture in this room is arranged. Are chairs facing toward or away from each other? Are there common spaces that are conducive to social interaction? Rearranging the layout of your home, office, or classroom can also help to promote feelings of connectedness.




USE YOUR STRENGTHS


Difficulty: MODERATE | Frequency: 1X/DAY | Duration: 30 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITSometimes we give our weaknesses and limitations more attention than our strengths. Yet research suggests that thinking about personal strengths can increase our happiness and reduce depression.This exercise asks you to identify one of your personal strengths—a positive trait that contributes to your character, such as kindness or perseverance—and consider how you could use it in a new and different way. Recognizing and exercising these strengths can make them stronger and better equip you to meet life’s challenges.


TIME REQUIREDEvery day for a week. Time required each day will vary depending on how you choose to exercise your strengths.


HOW TO DO ITTake a moment to think about one of your personal strengths—for instance, creativity, perseverance, kindness, modesty, or curiosity. Consider how you could use this strength today in a new and different way. For example, if you choose the personal strength of perseverance, you might make a list of tasks that you have found challenging recently, then try to tackle each one of them. Or if you choose curiosity, you might attempt an activity that you’ve never tried before.Describe in writing the personal strength you plan to use today and how you are going to use it. Then, go ahead and do it—act on your strength as frequently as possible throughout the day.Repeat the steps above every day for a week. You may use the same personal strength across multiple days, or try using a new personal strength each day.  At the end of the week, write about the personal strengths that you focused on during the week and how you used them. Write in detail about what you did, how you felt, and what you learned from the experience.

 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


End part  2 of 3

Anti-Depression Greater Good (part 1 of 3 Difficulty: CASUAL)

41 Science Based Action For A Meaningful Life (part 1 of 3 Difficulty: CASUAL)
Greater Good Science Center's Great Good In Action
Sorted By Difficulty Low To High
(the website also lists the evidence, sources, and explainations)
http://ggia.berkeley.edu/



THREE GOOD THINGS


Difficulty: CASUAL | Frequency: 1X/DAY | Duration: 10 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITIn our day-to-day lives, it's easy to get caught up in the things that go wrong and feel like we're living under our own private rain cloud; at the same time, we tend to adapt to the good things and people in our lives, taking them for granted. As a result, we often overlook everyday beauty and goodness--a kind gesture from a stranger, say, or the warmth of our heater on a chilly morning. In the process, we frequently miss opportunities for happiness and connection.This practice guards against those tendencies. By remembering and listing three positive things that have happened in your day--and considering what caused them--you tune into the sources of goodness in your life. It's a habit that can change the emotional tone of your life, replacing feelings of disappointment or entitlement with those of gratitude--which may be why this practice is associated with significant increases in happiness.


TIME REQUIRED 10 minutes/day for at least one week.


HOW TO DO ITEach day for at least one week, write down three things that went well for you that day, and provide an explanation for why they went well. It is important to create a physical record of your items by writing them down; it is not enough simply to do this exercise in your head. The items can be relatively small in importance (e.g., “my co-worker made the coffee today”) or relatively large (e.g., “I earned a big promotion”). To make this exercise part of your daily routine, some find that writing before bed is helpful.As you write, follow these instructions:Give the event a title (e.g., “co-worker complimented my work on a project”)Write down exactly what happened in as much detail as possible, including what you did or said and, if others were involved, what they did or said.Include how this event made you feel at the time and how this event made you feel later (including now, as you remember it).Explain what you think caused this event—why it came to pass.Use whatever writing style you please, and do not worry about perfect grammar and spelling. Use as much detail as you'd like.If you find yourself focusing on negative feelings, refocus your mind on the good event and the positive feelings that came with it. This can take effort but gets easier with practice and can make a real difference in how you feel.




FEELING CONNECTED


Difficulty: CASUAL | Frequency: VARIABLE | Duration: 5 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY IT. Humans have a strong drive to be kind, but that drive is usually stronger when they feel connected to other people. To help foster that feeling of closeness, this exercise asks you to think about a time when you felt a strong connection to another person and to describe the experience in writing. Research suggests that reflecting on feelings of connection can increase people’s motivation to help others, whether by helping a friend or stranger in need, volunteering, or donating money. Helping others can, in turn, increase happiness and improve relationships.


TIME REQUIRED 10 minutes. Try to do this practice at least once per week, selecting a different example each time


HOW TO DO IT1. Try to think of a time when you felt a strong bond with someone in your life. Choose a specific example of an experience you had with this person where you felt especially close and connected to him or her. This could be a time you had a meaningful conversation, gave or received support, experienced a great loss or success together, or witnessed an historic moment together.2. Once you’ve thought of a specific example, spend a few minutes writing about what happened. In particular, consider the ways in which this experience made you feel close and connected to the other person.




SELF-COMPASSIONATE LETTER


Difficulty: CASUAL | Frequency: 1X/WEEK | Duration: 15 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITWe often judge ourselves more harshly than we judge others, beating ourselves up over our faults, flaws, and shortcomings. That makes us feel isolated, unhappy, and even more stressed; it may even make us try to feel better about ourselves by denigrating other people.Rather than harsh self-criticism, a healthier response is to treat yourself with compassion and understanding. According to psychologist Kristin Neff, this “self-compassion” has three main components: mindfulness, a feeling of common humanity, and self-kindness. This exercise asks you to write a letter to yourself expressing compassion for an aspect of yourself that you don’t like. Research suggests that people who respond with compassion to their own flaws and setbacks—rather than beating themselves up—experience greater physical and mental health.


TIME REQUIRED 15 minutes. Try to do this practice once per week, or at least once per month.


HOW TO DO IT. First, identify something about yourself that makes you feel ashamed, insecure, or not good enough. It could be something related to your personality, behavior, abilities, relationships, or any other part of your life. Once you identify something, write it down and describe how it makes you feel. Sad? Embarrassed? Angry? Try to be as honest as possible, keeping in mind that no one but you will see what you write. The next step is to write a letter to yourself expressing compassion, understanding, and acceptance for the part of yourself that you dislike. As you write, follow these guidelines:Imagine that there is someone who loves and accepts you unconditionally for who you are. What would that person say to you about this part of yourself?Remind yourself that everyone has things about themselves that they don’t like, and that no one is without flaws. Think about how many other people in the world are struggling with the same thing that you’re struggling with.Consider the ways in which events that have happened in your life, the family environment you grew up in, or even your genes may have contributed to this negative aspect of yourself. In a compassionate way, ask yourself whether there are things that you could do to improve or better cope with this negative aspect. Focus on how constructive changes could make you feel happier, healthier, or more fulfilled, and avoid judging yourself.After writing the letter, put it down for a little while. Then come back to it later and read it again. It may be especially helpful to read it whenever you’re feeling bad about this aspect of yourself, as a reminder to be more self-compassionate.




Raisin Meditation


Difficulty: CASUAL | Frequency: 1X/DAY | Duration: 5 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY IT. Many of us spend our lives rehashing the past or rushing into the future without pausing to enjoy the present. Distracted from the world around us, our life might feel only half-lived, as we’re too busy to savor—or even notice—everyday pleasures.Practicing mindfulness can help. Mindfulness helps us tune into what we’re sensing and experiencing in the present moment—it’s the ability to pay more careful attention to our thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations, without judging them as good or bad. Research suggests that it can not only reduce stress but also increase our experience of positive emotions.One of the most basic and widely used methods for cultivating mindfulness is to focus your attention on each of your senses as you eat a raisin. This simple exercise is often used as an introduction to the practice of mindfulness. In addition to increasing mindfulness more generally, the raisin meditation can promote mindful eating and foster a healthier relationship with food. Try it with a single raisin—you might find that it’s the most delicious raisin you’ve ever eaten.


TIME REQUIRED Five minutes daily for at least a week. Evidence suggests that mindfulness increases the more you practice it.


HOW TO DO IT1. Holding: First, take a raisin and hold it in the palm of your hand or between your finger and thumb.2. Seeing: Take time to really focus on it; gaze at the raisin with care and full attention—imagine that you’ve just dropped in from Mars and have never seen an object like this before in your life. Let your eyes explore every part of it, examining the highlights where the light shines, the darker hollows, the folds and ridges, and any asymmetries or unique features.3. Touching: Turn the raisin over between your fingers, exploring its texture. Maybe do this with your eyes closed if that enhances your sense of touch.4. Smelling: Hold the raisin beneath your nose. With each inhalation, take in any smell, aroma, or fragrance that may arise. As you do this, notice anything interesting that may be happening in your mouth or stomach.


5. Placing: Now slowly bring the raisin up to your lips, noticing how your hand and arm know exactly how and where to position it. Gently place the raisin in your mouth; without chewing, noticing how it gets into your mouth in the first place. Spend a few moments focusing on the sensations of having it in your mouth, exploring it with your tongue.


6. Tasting: When you are ready, prepare to chew the raisin, noticing how and where it needs to be for chewing. Then, very consciously, take one or two bites into it and notice what happens in the aftermath, experiencing any waves of taste that emanate from it as you continue chewing. Without swallowing yet, notice the bare sensations of taste and texture in your mouth and how these may change over time, moment by moment. Also pay attention to any changes in the object itself.


7. Swallowing: When you feel ready to swallow the raisin, see if you can first detect the intention to swallow as it comes up, so that even this is experienced consciously before you actually swallow the raisin.8. Following: Finally, see if you can feel what is left of the raisin moving down into your stomach, and sense how your body as a whole is feeling after you have completed this exercise.





MINDFUL BREATHING


Difficulty: CASUAL | Frequency: 1X/DAY| Duration: 15 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITStress, anger, and anxiety can impair not only our health but our judgement and skills ofattention. Fortunately, research suggests an effective way to deal with these difficultyfeelings: the practice of "mindfulness,” the ability to pay careful attention to what you'rethinking, feeling, and sensing in the present moment without judging those thoughts andfeelings as good or bad. Countless studies link mindfulness to better health, loweranxiety, and greater resilience to stress. But how do you cultivate mindfulness? A basic method is to focus your attention on your own breathing—a practice called, quite simply, "mindful breathing." After setting aside time to practice mindful breathing, you should find it easier to focus attention on your breath in your daily life—an important skill to help you deal with stress, anxiety, and negative emotions, cool yourself down when your temper flares, and sharpen your skills of concentration.


TIME REQUIRED15 minutes daily for at least a week (though evidence suggests that mindfulness increases the more you practice it).


HOW TO DO ITThe most basic way to do mindful breathing is simply to focus your attention on your breath, the inhale and exhale. You can do this while standing, but ideally you’ll be sitting or even lying in a comfortable position. Your eyes may be open or closed, but you may find it easier to maintain your focus if you close your eyes. It can help to set aside a designated time for this exercise, but it can also help to practice it when you’re feeling particularly stressed or anxious. Experts believe a regular practice of mindful breathing can make it easier to do it in difficult situations. Sometimes, especially when trying to calm yourself in a stressful moment, it might help to start by taking an exaggerated breath: a deep inhale through your nostrils (3 seconds), hold your breath (2 seconds), and a long exhale through your mouth (4 seconds). Otherwise, simply observe each breath without trying to adjust it; it may help to focus on the rise and fall of your chest or the sensation through your nostrils. As you do so, you may find that your mind wanders, distracted by thoughts or bodily sensations. That’s OK. Just notice that this is happening and gently bring your attention back to your breath. To provide even more structure, and help you lead this practice for others, below are steps for a short guided meditation. You can listen to audio of this guided meditation, produced by UCLA’s Mindful Awareness Research Center (MARC), in the player below; if it doesn't play, you can find it here or download it from MARC's website.  http://marc.ucla.edu/body.cfm?id=22



1. Find a relaxed, comfortable position. You could be seated on a chair or on the floor on a cushion. Keep your backupright, but not too tight. Hands resting wherever they’re comfortable. Tongue on the roof of your mouth or whereverit’s comfortable.2. Notice and relax your body. Try to notice the shape of your body, its weight. Let yourself relax and become curiousabout your body seated here—the sensations it experiences, the touch, the connection with the floor or the chair. Relaxany areas of tightness or tension. Just breathe.3. Tune into your breath. Feel the natural flow of breath—in, out. You don’t need to do anything to your breath. Not long,not short, just natural. Notice where you feel your breath in your body. It might be in your abdomen. It may be in yourchest or throat or in your nostrils. See if you can feel the sensations of breath, one breath at a time. When one breathends, the next breath begins.  4. Now as you do this, you might notice that your mind may start to wander. You may start thinking about other things. Ifthis happens, it is not a problem. It's very natural. Just notice that your mind has wandered. You can say “thinking” or“wandering” in your head softly. And then gently redirect your attention right back to the breathing.5. Stay here for five to seven minutes. Notice your breath, in silence. From time to time, you’ll get lost in thought, thenreturn to your breath.  6. After a few minutes, once again notice your body, your whole body, seated here. Let yourself relax even more deeplyand then offer yourself some appreciation for doing this practice today.




GRATITUDE JOURNAL


Difficulty: CASUAL | Frequency: 1X/WEEK | Duration: 10 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITIt’s easy to take the good things and people in our lives for granted, but research suggests that consciously giving thanks for them can have profound effects on our well-being and relationships. This exercise helps you develop a greater appreciation for the good in your life. In fact, people who routinely express gratitude enjoy better health and greater happiness.


TIME REQUIRED 15 minutes per day, at least once per week for at least two weeks. Studies suggest that writing in a gratitude journal three times per week might actually have a greater impact on our happiness than journaling every day.


HOW TO DO IT. There’s no wrong way to keep a gratitude journal, but here are some general instructions as you get started.Write down up to five things for which you feel grateful. The physical record is important—don’t just do this exercise in your head. The things you list can be relatively small in importance (“The tasty sandwich I had for lunch today.”) or relatively large (“My sister gave birth to a healthy baby boy.”). The goal of the exercise is to remember a good event, experience, person, or thing in your life—then enjoy the good emotions that come with it.As you write, here are nine important tips:Be as specific as possible—specificity is key to fostering gratitude. “I’m grateful that my co-workers brought me soup when I was sick on Tuesday” will be more effective than “I’m grateful for my co-workers.”Go for depth over breadth. Elaborating in detail about a particular person or thing for which you’re grateful carries more benefits than a superficial list of many things.Get personal. Focusing on people to whom you are grateful has more of an impact than focusing on things for which you are grateful.Try subtraction, not just addition. Consider what your life would be like without certain people or things, rather than just tallying up all the good stuff. Be grateful for the negative outcomes you avoided, escaped, prevented, or turned into something positive—try not to take that good fortune for granted.See good things as “gifts.” Thinking of the good things in your life as gifts guards against taking them for granted. Try to relish and savor the gifts you’ve received.Savor surprises. Try to record events that were unexpected or surprising, as these tend to elicit stronger levels of gratitude.Revise if you repeat. Writing about some of the same people and things is OK, but zero in on a different aspect in detail.Write regularly. Whether you write every other day or once a week, commit to a regular time to journal, then honor that commitment. But…Don’t overdo it. Evidence suggests writing occasionally (1-3 times per week) is more beneficial than daily journaling. That might be because we adapt to positive events and can soon become numb to them—that’s why it helps to savor surprises.




AWE NARRATIVE


Difficulty: CASUAL | Frequency: VARIABLE | Duration: 15 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITThis exercise asks you to recall and describe a time when you experienced awe. Awe is an emotion that is elicited by experiences that challenge and expand our typical way of seeing the world. Research suggests that awe involves sensing the presence of something greater than the self, along with decreased self-consciousness and a decreased focus on minor, everyday concerns. Experiences of awe have been shown to expand people’s perception of time and improve life satisfaction.


TIME REQUIRED 15 minutes


HOW TO DO IT. Think back to a time when you felt a sense of awe regarding something you witnessed or experienced. Awe has been defined as a response to things that are perceived as vast and overwhelming and that alter the way you understand the world. This sense of vastness can be physical (e.g., a panoramic view from a mountaintop) or psychological (e.g., a brilliant idea). People may experience awe when they are in the presence of a beautiful natural landscape or work of art, when they watch a moving speech or performance, when they witness an act of great altruism, or when they have a spiritual or religious experience.  Try to think of the most recent experience you’ve had that involved the feeling of awe. Once you identify something, describe it in writing with as much detail as possible.




MENTAL SUBTRACTION OF POSITIVE EVENTS


Difficulty: CASUAL | Frequency: 1X/WEEK | Duration: 15 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITIt’s easy to take the good things in life for granted, but research suggests that the more we stop to appreciate what we have, the happier and healthier we are. This exercise is designed to help you increase feelings of gratitude for positive events in your life by visualizing what your life would be like without them. By getting a taste of their absence, you should be able to appreciate their presence in your life more deeply—without actually having to lose them for real.It’s like being in the movie It’s a Wonderful Life—or Joni Mitchell’s song “Big Yellow Taxi,” where "you don't know what you've got till it's gone.”


TIME REQUIRED15 minutes. Try to make time to do this practice once per week, focusing on a different positive event each week. It might help to do this practice at the same time each week—before bed each Sunday evening, perhaps, or at lunch every Friday.


HOW TO DO IT1. Take a moment to think about a positive event in your life, such as an educational or career achievement, the birth of a child, or a special trip you took.  2. Think back to the time of this event and the circumstances that made it possible.3. Consider the ways in which this event may never have happened—for example, if you hadn’t happened to learn about a certain job opening at the right moment. 4. Write down all of the possible events and decisions—large and small—that could have gone differently and prevented this event from occurring.5.  Imagine what your life would be like now if you hadn’t enjoyed this positive event and all the fruits that flowed from it.6. Shift your focus to remind yourself that this event actually did happen and reflect upon the benefits it has brought you. Now that you have considered how things might have turned out differently, appreciate that these benefits were not inevitable in your life. Allow yourself to feel grateful that things happened as they did.




MENTAL SUBTRACTION OF RELATIONSHIPS


Difficulty: CASUAL | Frequency: 1X/WEEK | Duration: 15 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITIt’s easy to take the important people in our lives for granted, but research suggests that if we experience and express gratitude for them, our relationships will be stronger and our lives will be happier. This exercise is designed to stoke feelings of gratitude for one of these people—such as a romantic partner or close friend—by asking you to think about what your life might have been like had you never met him or her. By getting a taste of their absence, you should be able to appreciate their presence in your life more deeply—without actually having to lose them for real.


TIME REQUIRED15 minutes. Try to make time to do this practice once per week, focusing on a different person each week. It might help to do this practice at the same time each week—before bed each Sunday evening, say, or at lunch every Friday.HOW TO DO IT1. Take a moment to think about an important relationship in your life, such as a romantic relationship or close friendship.2. Think back to where and how you met this person.3. Consider the ways in which you might never have met this person and never formed a friendship or relationship—for example, if you hadn’t decided to go to a certain party, taken a certain class, or moved to a certain city.4. Write down all of the possible events and decisions—large and small—that could have gone differently and prevented you from meeting this person.5. Imagine what your life would be like now if events had unfolded differently and you had never met this person. Bring to mind some of the joys and benefits you have enjoyed as a result of this relationship—and consider how you would feel if you were denied all of them.6. Shift your focus to remind yourself that you did actually meet this person and reflect upon the benefits this relationship has brought you. Now that you have considered   how things might have turned out differently, appreciate that these benefits were not inevitable in your life. Allow yourself to feel grateful that things happened as they did   and this person is now in your life.




AWE VIDEO


Difficulty: CASUAL | Frequency: 1X/MONTH | Duration: 5 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITIt’s easy to feel bogged down by daily routines and mundane concerns, stifling our sense of creativity and wonder. Feeling awe can reawaken those feelings of inspiration.Awe is induced by experiences that challenge and expand our typical way of seeing the world, often because we sense that we’re in the presence of something greater than ourselves. Research suggests that experiencing awe improves people’s satisfaction with life, makes them feel like they have more time, makes them feel less self-conscious, and reduces their focus on trivial concerns.But in our everyday lives, we might not regularly encounter things that fill us with awe. That’s where this practice comes in. It’s a way to infuse your day with a dose of wonder even if you can’t make it to an inspiring vista or museum.


TIME REQUIREDFour minutes


HOW TO DO ITSet aside four minutes to watch the video below. Put the video in full screen mode and try to give it your full attention.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6-2fVsFV8E


Note that this video is just one example of a visual experience that can elicit awe; there are countless others, and being exposed to them can have similar effects. The videos and other stimuli that inspire awe tend to share two key features:They involve a sense of vastness that puts into perspective your own relatively small place in the world. This vastness could be either physical (e.g., a panoramic view from a mountaintop) or psychological (e.g., an exceptionally courageous or heroic act of conscience).They alter the way you understand the world. For instance, they might make your everyday concerns seem less important, or they might expand your beliefs about the reaches of human potential.




AWE STORY


Difficulty: CASUAL | Frequency: 1X/WEEK | Duration: 10 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITIt’s easy to feel bogged down by daily routines and mundane concerns, stifling our sense of creativity and wonder. Feeling awe can reawaken those feelings of inspiration.Awe is induced by experiences that challenge and expand our typical way of seeing the world, often because we sense that we’re in the presence of something greater than ourselves. Research suggests that experiencing awe improves people’s satisfaction with life, makes them feel like they have more time, makes them feel less self-conscious, and reduces their focus on trivial concerns.But in our everyday lives, we might not regularly encounter things that fill us with awe. That’s where this practice comes in. It’s a way to experience awe even if you can’t make it to an inspiring vista or museum. It involves reading a story that has been shown to induce awe, giving you the chance to infuse even your most mundane days with a dose of wonder.


TIME REQUIRED10 minutes to read this story. For a regular dose of awe, try to make time to read a story like this at least once per week.


HOW TO DO ITSet aside at least 10 minutes to read the story below. Of course, reading a story like this is not the only way to elicit awe, and there are many different types of stories that could have this effect. The stories and other stimuli that inspire awe tend to share two key features:They involve a sense of vastness that puts into perspective your own relatively small place in the world. This vastness could be either physical (e.g., a panoramic view from a mountaintop) or psychological (e.g., an exceptionally courageous or heroic act of conscience).They alter the way you understand the world. For instance, they might make your everyday concerns seem less important, or they might expand your beliefs about the reaches of human potential.


Read the story below to experience these dimensions of awe.


Imagine you’re getting ready to go on a trip to Europe. Although you’ve seen parts of Europe in photos and on television, you know that seeing things in person will be a completely different experience. You’re particularly excited to begin the trip in one of the most inspiring capitals of the continent—the magnificent city of Paris.As soon as you arrive in Paris, you’re overwhelmed by the grandeur and beauty of the historic city. The sights, smells, and sounds are like nothing you have ever experienced. Everywhere you look there is something new to capture your imagination. Scanning the view from left to right, you’re surrounded by beautiful buildings. Famous museums and churches beckon for you to absorb the stories of their rich past, while centuries-old hotels and city buildings exude majesty and history. As you pass by them, you’re amazed by the elaborate architectural designs and the ornate details. Between two of the buildings, you catch a glimpse of the Eiffel tower in the distance. Seeing it for the first time in person, your eyes widen and your senses feel wide awake. Although it looks small from where you are, the incredible height of the tower becomes clear as you walk toward it.Standing a block from the tower, you’re overwhelmed by the sheer size and grandeur of the structure. The intricately woven beams of steel rise high from the ground, and you feel completely dwarfed standing next to it. You look up, but you can’t even see the top. The magnitude of the tower is enormous and it feels even more amazing being there in person than you could have ever imagined. The metal beams rising from the ground are larger than the biggest tree trunks you’ve ever seen. You touch them: As your hands come in contact with the cold metal, you feel the presence of something greater than yourself, not just physically, but in human history. You can’t believe that something so tremendous was built by man.     You take the elevator to the top. During the ride you can’t help but think back to the first time you saw the Grand Canyon—that moment when everything around you stops as you try to comprehend what’s in front of you. Finally, the elevator doors begin to open, and there it is—Paris all around you. As you take in the overwhelming sight, your mouth opens and you catch your breath. The famed City of Lights stretches for miles in all directions around you, yet from this vantage point the hustle and bustle below cease to exist. As your body is enveloped by a strong feeling of wonder, you scan the enormous panorama and try to take in everything that’s in front of you. You lose yourself in the beauty of the sight.




PUTTING A HUMAN FACE ON SUFFERING


Difficulty: CASUAL | Frequency: 1X/MONTH | Duration: VARIABLE


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITResearch suggests that humans have a strong propensity for kindness and generosity, and that kindness improves the health and happiness of the giver, not only of the receiver. But we don't always act on our altruistic instincts. Frequently, that’s because we see a problem—such as poverty or illness—only in terms of statistics rather than as the suffering of real human beings.This exercise helps you overcome that challenge by putting a “human face” on a problem. It builds on studies suggesting that people are more likely to contribute to a cause if they are able to identify specific people in need. It can not only be used for yourself but also to help you elicit altruism from others, including your children, students, or people you are trying to get to donate to an important cause.


TIME REQUIREDHow long it takes you to do this practice will vary depending on which strategy you choose, but make it a goal to follow one of these strategies at least once a month.


HOW TO DO ITTo inspire others (or yourself) to give time or resources to a cause, try at least one of the following strategies. However, avoid explicitly telling others that you are using these strategies to get them to give more—research suggests that can backfire.When researching a problem in news reports or other sources, look for profiles of specific individuals.Use photographs and video footage—not just individuals’ names—in your appeal to make the problem more vivid and emotionally moving.Use descriptive language and identifiable details that allow people to imagine themselves in a specific victim’s shoes, rather than abstract language that presents facts and statistics.Don’t feature the stories of too many individuals; research suggests it's easier to foster an emotional connection to a single person in need than to multiple people.When possible, try to make direct contact with victims. For example, if you are a teacher, consider bringing in a speaker—in person or via a video call— who can share a first-hand story with your students (assuming you can’t visit the disaster site with a relief organization, which would be even more effective).




SELF-COMPASSION BREAK


Difficulty: CASUAL | Frequency: 1X/DAY | Duration: 5 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITDifficult situations become even harder when we beat ourselves up over them, interpreting them as a sign that we’re less capable or worthy than other people. In fact, we often judge ourselves more harshly than we judge others, especially when we make a mistake or feel stressed out. That makes us feel isolated, unhappy, and even more stressed; it may even make us try to feel better about ourselves by denigrating other people.Rather than harsh self-criticism, a healthier response is to treat yourself with compassion and understanding. According to psychologist Kristin Neff, this “self-compassion” has three main components: mindfulness, a feeling of common humanity, and self-kindness. This exercise walks you through all three of those components when you’re going through a stressful experience. Research suggests that people who treat themselves with compassion rather than criticism in difficult times experience greater physical and mental health.


TIME REQUIRED5 minutes. While it may be challenging to do this practice every time you face a stressful situation, an initial goal could be to try it at least once per week.


HOW TO DO IT1. Think of a situation in your life that is difficult and is causing you stress.2. Call the situation to mind and see if you can actually feel the stress and emotional discomfort in your body.3. Now say to yourself, “This is a moment of suffering.” This acknowledgment is a form of mindfulness—of simply noticing what is going on for you emotionally in the present moment, without judging that experience as good or bad. You can also say to yourself, “This hurts,” or, “This is stress.” Use whatever statement feels most natural to you.4. Next,say to yourself, “Suffering is a part of life.” This is a recognition of your common humanity with others—that all people have trying experiences, and these experiences give you something in common with the rest of humanity rather than mark you as abnormal or deficient. Other options for this statement include “Other people feel this way,” “I’m not alone,” or “We all struggle in our lives.”5. Now, put your hands over your heart, feel the warmth of your hands and the gentle touch on your chest, and say, “May I be kind to myself.” This is a way to express self-kindness. You can also consider whether there is another specific phrase that would speak to you in that particular situation. Some examples: “May I give myself the compassion that I need,” “May I accept myself as I am,” “May I learn to accept myself as I am,” “May I forgive myself,” “May I be strong,” and “May I be patient.”This practice can be used any time of day or night. If you practice it in moments of relative calm, it might become easier for you to experience the three parts of self-compassion—mindfulness, common humanity, and self-kindness—when you need them most.




HOW WOULD YOU TREAT A FRIEND?


Difficulty: CASUAL | Frequency: 1X/DAY | Duration: 15 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITResearch suggests that people are usually harder on themselves than they are on others. Rather than motivating them to succeed, this often makes a mistake or stressful situation even more stressful—to the point that they’ll simply avoid new or challenging experiences for fearing of failing and eliciting a new wave of self-criticism.This exercise asks you to notice the differences between the way you typically treat the people you care about and the way you typically treat yourself. It also asks you to consider why there may be differences between the two, and to contemplate what would happen if you treated yourself as compassionately as you treat others. Research suggests that treating yourself more compassionately can benefit your physical and mental health.


TIME REQUIRED15 minutes. While it may be hard to find time to do this practice every time you are struggling with a difficult situation, an initial goal could be to try it once a month.


HOW TO DO ITTake out a sheet of paper or open a blank document on your computer and go through the following steps.First, think about times when a close friend feels really bad about him- or herself or is really struggling in some way. How do you respond to your friend in these situations (if you’re at your best)? Please write down what you typically do and say, and note the tone in which you talk to your friend.Now think about times when you feel bad about yourself or are struggling. How do you typically respond to yourself in these situations? Please write down what you typically do and say, and note the tone in which you talk to yourself.Did you notice a difference? If so, ask yourself why. What factors or fears come into play that lead you to treat yourself and others so differently?Write down how you think things might change if you responded to yourself when you’re suffering in the same way you typically respond to a close friend.Next time you are struggling with something, try treating yourself like a good friend and see what happens.




WALKING MEDITATION


Difficulty: CASUAL | Frequency: 1X/DAY | Duration: 10 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITMuch of our time is spent rushing from place to place, so preoccupied with our next activity that we don’t really notice what we’re doing now. We risk not really experiencing our life as we live it.Practicing mindfulness can help. Mindfulness helps us tune into what we’re sensing and experiencing in the present moment—it’s the ability to pay more careful attention to our thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations, without judging them as good or bad. Research suggests that it can not only reduce stress but also increase our experience of positive emotions.One of the basic methods for cultivating mindfulness is a “walking meditation,” which involves focusing closely on the physical experience of walking, paying attention to the specific components of each step. With practice, an everyday action that you do automatically, even mindlessly, can become an opportunity for greater focus and awareness—a habit you can try to bring to other mundane activities as well. Some experts recommend alternating the walking meditation with other forms of meditation to keep your practice varied and determine which form feels best for you.


TIME REQUIRED10 minutes daily for at least a week. Evidence suggests that mindfulness increases the more you practice it.


HOW TO DO ITThe steps below are adapted from a guided walking meditation led by mindfulness expert Jon Kabat-Zinn, a recording of which can be found here.Find a location. Find a lane that allows you to walk back and forth for 10-15 paces—a place that is relatively peaceful, where you won’t be disturbed or even observed (since a slow, formal walking meditation can look strange to people who are unfamiliar with it). You can practice walking meditation either indoors or outside in nature. The lane doesn’t have to be very long since the goal is not to reach a specific destination, just to practice a very intentional form of walking where you’re mostly retracing your steps.Start your steps. Walk 10-15 steps along the lane you’ve chosen, and then pause and breathe for as long as you like. When you’re ready, turn and walk back in the opposite direction to the other end of the lane, where you can pause and breathe again. Then, when you’re ready, turn once more and continue with the walk.The components of each step. Walking meditation involves very deliberating thinking about and doing a series of actions that you normally do automatically. Breaking these steps down in your mind may feel awkward, even ridiculous. But you should try to notice at least these four basic components of each step: a) the lifting of one foot;b) the moving of the foot a bit forward of where you’re standing;c) the placing of the foot on the floor, heal first;d) the shifting of the weight of the body onto the forward leg as the back heel lifts, while the toes of that foot remain touching the floor or the ground.Then the cycle continues, as you:a) lift your back foot totally off the ground;b) observe the back foot as it swings forward and lowers;c) observe the back foot as it makes contact with the ground, heel first;d) feel the weight shift onto that foot as the body moves forward.Speed. You can walk at any speed, but in Kabat-Zinn’s Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) program, walking meditation is slow and involves taking small steps. Most important is that it feel natural, not exaggerated or stylized.Hands and arms. You can clasp your hands behind your back or in front of you, or you can just let them hang at your side—whatever feels most comfortable and natural.Focusing your attention. As you walk, try to focus your attention on one or more sensations that you would normally take for granted, such as your breath coming in and out of your body; the movement of your feet and legs, or their contact with the ground or floor; your head balanced on your neck and shoulders; sounds nearby or those caused by the movement of your body; or whatever your eyes take in as they focus on the world in front of you.What to do when your mind wanders. No matter how much you try to fix your attention on any of these sensations, your mind will inevitably wander. That’s OK—it’s perfectly natural. When you notice your mind wandering, simply try again to focus it one of those sensations.Integrating walking meditation into your daily life. For many people, slow, formal walking meditation is an acquired taste. But the more you practice, even for short periods of time, the more it is likely to grow on you. Keep in mind that you can also bring mindfulness to walking at any speed in your everyday life, and even to running, though of course the pace of your steps and breath will change. In fact, over time, you can try to bring the same degree of awareness to any everyday activity, experiencing the sense of presence that is available to us at every moment as our lives unfold.




FEELING SUPPORTED


Difficulty: CASUAL | Frequency: 1X/MONTH | Duration: 15 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITMost of us want to be kind and caring, but that can be easier said than done, especially when we feel stressed, threatened, or insecure. Often in those moments, our natural reaction is to focus on ourselves and make sure that we’re safe instead of paying attention to other people’s needs and supporting them. But disconnecting from others can actually exacerbate our stress.This exercise helps free you from that downward spiral. It asks you to think about the people you turn to when you’re distressed and recall times when you’ve felt comforted by them. Research suggests that increasing momentary feelings of comfort by thinking about supportive relationships can make us more trusting, compassionate, and helpful toward others in general.


TIME REQUIRED15 minutes. Try to do this practice once a month to sustain your feelings of trust and connection.


HOW TO DO ITWrite down the names of six people to whom you turn when you feel distressed or worried.Write down six positive qualities that are common to these people--qualities that they strongly embody.Next, recall and visualize a specific situation when you were feeling distressed or worried and one of these people comforted and helped you.Write a brief description of that situation and the way you felt during it.




ENCOURAGING KINDNESS IN KIDS


Difficulty: CASUAL | Frequency: 1X/WEEK | Duration: VARIABLE


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITResearch suggests that children have a strong, perhaps innate, propensity for kind or altruistic behavior, which involves acting to promote someone else’s welfare, even at a cost to oneself. However, research also suggests that there are particular ways kids can be encouraged—or discouraged—from acting on this propensity. In particular, their penchant for kindness can be influenced by how adults praise or criticize them. Sometimes, even subtle actions and word choices by parents, teachers, and other adults can make a big difference. This practice offers specific techniques that can help nudge kids toward kindness and generosity, behaviors that are not only good for the people they help but for their own well-being, too: Studies have found that altruistic people tend to have better social relationships and experience greater happiness.


TIME REQUIREDThe time required for any of these techniques will vary. Try to use one of them at least once per week.


HOW TO DO ITAvoid using external rewards to reinforce altruistic behavior. For instance, you may want to think twice before telling kids that they’ll get a special treat if they share their toys, or promising them extra TV time if they help clean up after dinner. As tempting as it may be to reward kids when they do something kind, that approach can backfire: They may learn that kindness is only worth performing when they’ll be given some kind of prize as a result. Instead, kids should get to experience the feeling that kindness is its own reward—a view backed up by neuroscience studies showing that pleasure centers of the brain light up when people behave altruistically.Praise character, not behavior. Research suggests that children are more likely to make kindness a habit if they are praised for being kind people rather than just for doing something kind. For example, saying, “You’re such a helpful person” may be more effective than saying, “That was such a helpful thing to do.” Praising their character encourages children to see kindness as an essential part of who they are and seems to be especially effective around age eight, when children are forming their moral identities.But criticize behavior, not character. In other words, it’s OK to induce guilt but not shame. Children who feel guilt (“I did a bad thing”) after wrongdoing are more likely to feel remorse and make amends than those who feel shame (“I am a bad person”). Criticizing a behavior conveys that it’s possible for the child to change his or her behavior and make better choices in the future. Such criticism may be especially effective when it also includes positive affirmation (e.g., “You’re a good person, and I know you can do better.”)Model altruistic behavior. Ultimately, actions speak louder than words when it comes to cultivating altruism. Research shows that when children witness adults behaving altruistically, they are more likely to behave altruistically themselves, regardless of what the adults say to them about the importance of altruism.




GIVE IT UP


Difficulty: CASUAL | Frequency: 1X/MONTH | Duration: 1 WEEK


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITResearch suggests that one of the biggest challenges to lasting happiness is our great capacity for adaptation: We tend to get used to the things that bring us pleasure in life, and before long, their positive effects wear off. We no longer enjoy them in the way we once did.However, research has identified a way to sustain these little pleasures over time: by temporarily giving them up. That can lead us to enjoy and savor that activity more once we resume it—and the ability to savor the small pleasures in life is a key to happiness. This practice guides you through the process of abstaining from a pleasurable activity for a week as a way to heighten your appreciation of it. Over time, the goal is not only to derive more pleasure from this activity but to recognize how we take lots of pleasures for granted and to try to savor them more.


TIME REQUIREDOne week. See if you can give up a different pleasure for one week each month.


HOW TO DO ITSelect something that you enjoy doing on a regular basis and that you have unlimited or nearly unlimited access to. A good choice may be a particular food or beverage that you enjoy, such as chocolate or beer.On Day 1, allow yourself to indulge as you normally would in this activity. Scarf down a chocolate bar. Pour yourself a glass of wine. Veg out in front of the TV.Then, for one week, do not allow yourself to indulge in this pleasure at all. If you’re giving up chocolate, abstain from any foods that contain it; if you’re giving up TV, try not to even watch a video on your phone.At the end of the week, allow yourself to indulge again. As you do so, pay attention to how you feel. Are you noticing certain physical sensations (e.g., taste and texture of the chocolate) more than usual? How pleasurable is the experience? What kind of mood are you in?Try to go through this same process with a different pleasure the following month. And in between these weeks of abstinence, try to focus your attention on the pleasures you enjoy every day. What are the activities or experiences that you actually enjoy doing? What do you enjoy about them—how do they make you feel? How do you think you would feel if you were prevented from enjoying this activity ever again?


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