Anti-Depression Greater Good (part 1 of 3 Difficulty: CASUAL)

41 Science Based Action For A Meaningful Life (part 1 of 3 Difficulty: CASUAL)
Greater Good Science Center's Great Good In Action
Sorted By Difficulty Low To High
(the website also lists the evidence, sources, and explainations)
http://ggia.berkeley.edu/



THREE GOOD THINGS


Difficulty: CASUAL | Frequency: 1X/DAY | Duration: 10 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITIn our day-to-day lives, it's easy to get caught up in the things that go wrong and feel like we're living under our own private rain cloud; at the same time, we tend to adapt to the good things and people in our lives, taking them for granted. As a result, we often overlook everyday beauty and goodness--a kind gesture from a stranger, say, or the warmth of our heater on a chilly morning. In the process, we frequently miss opportunities for happiness and connection.This practice guards against those tendencies. By remembering and listing three positive things that have happened in your day--and considering what caused them--you tune into the sources of goodness in your life. It's a habit that can change the emotional tone of your life, replacing feelings of disappointment or entitlement with those of gratitude--which may be why this practice is associated with significant increases in happiness.


TIME REQUIRED 10 minutes/day for at least one week.


HOW TO DO ITEach day for at least one week, write down three things that went well for you that day, and provide an explanation for why they went well. It is important to create a physical record of your items by writing them down; it is not enough simply to do this exercise in your head. The items can be relatively small in importance (e.g., “my co-worker made the coffee today”) or relatively large (e.g., “I earned a big promotion”). To make this exercise part of your daily routine, some find that writing before bed is helpful.As you write, follow these instructions:Give the event a title (e.g., “co-worker complimented my work on a project”)Write down exactly what happened in as much detail as possible, including what you did or said and, if others were involved, what they did or said.Include how this event made you feel at the time and how this event made you feel later (including now, as you remember it).Explain what you think caused this event—why it came to pass.Use whatever writing style you please, and do not worry about perfect grammar and spelling. Use as much detail as you'd like.If you find yourself focusing on negative feelings, refocus your mind on the good event and the positive feelings that came with it. This can take effort but gets easier with practice and can make a real difference in how you feel.




FEELING CONNECTED


Difficulty: CASUAL | Frequency: VARIABLE | Duration: 5 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY IT. Humans have a strong drive to be kind, but that drive is usually stronger when they feel connected to other people. To help foster that feeling of closeness, this exercise asks you to think about a time when you felt a strong connection to another person and to describe the experience in writing. Research suggests that reflecting on feelings of connection can increase people’s motivation to help others, whether by helping a friend or stranger in need, volunteering, or donating money. Helping others can, in turn, increase happiness and improve relationships.


TIME REQUIRED 10 minutes. Try to do this practice at least once per week, selecting a different example each time


HOW TO DO IT1. Try to think of a time when you felt a strong bond with someone in your life. Choose a specific example of an experience you had with this person where you felt especially close and connected to him or her. This could be a time you had a meaningful conversation, gave or received support, experienced a great loss or success together, or witnessed an historic moment together.2. Once you’ve thought of a specific example, spend a few minutes writing about what happened. In particular, consider the ways in which this experience made you feel close and connected to the other person.




SELF-COMPASSIONATE LETTER


Difficulty: CASUAL | Frequency: 1X/WEEK | Duration: 15 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITWe often judge ourselves more harshly than we judge others, beating ourselves up over our faults, flaws, and shortcomings. That makes us feel isolated, unhappy, and even more stressed; it may even make us try to feel better about ourselves by denigrating other people.Rather than harsh self-criticism, a healthier response is to treat yourself with compassion and understanding. According to psychologist Kristin Neff, this “self-compassion” has three main components: mindfulness, a feeling of common humanity, and self-kindness. This exercise asks you to write a letter to yourself expressing compassion for an aspect of yourself that you don’t like. Research suggests that people who respond with compassion to their own flaws and setbacks—rather than beating themselves up—experience greater physical and mental health.


TIME REQUIRED 15 minutes. Try to do this practice once per week, or at least once per month.


HOW TO DO IT. First, identify something about yourself that makes you feel ashamed, insecure, or not good enough. It could be something related to your personality, behavior, abilities, relationships, or any other part of your life. Once you identify something, write it down and describe how it makes you feel. Sad? Embarrassed? Angry? Try to be as honest as possible, keeping in mind that no one but you will see what you write. The next step is to write a letter to yourself expressing compassion, understanding, and acceptance for the part of yourself that you dislike. As you write, follow these guidelines:Imagine that there is someone who loves and accepts you unconditionally for who you are. What would that person say to you about this part of yourself?Remind yourself that everyone has things about themselves that they don’t like, and that no one is without flaws. Think about how many other people in the world are struggling with the same thing that you’re struggling with.Consider the ways in which events that have happened in your life, the family environment you grew up in, or even your genes may have contributed to this negative aspect of yourself. In a compassionate way, ask yourself whether there are things that you could do to improve or better cope with this negative aspect. Focus on how constructive changes could make you feel happier, healthier, or more fulfilled, and avoid judging yourself.After writing the letter, put it down for a little while. Then come back to it later and read it again. It may be especially helpful to read it whenever you’re feeling bad about this aspect of yourself, as a reminder to be more self-compassionate.




Raisin Meditation


Difficulty: CASUAL | Frequency: 1X/DAY | Duration: 5 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY IT. Many of us spend our lives rehashing the past or rushing into the future without pausing to enjoy the present. Distracted from the world around us, our life might feel only half-lived, as we’re too busy to savor—or even notice—everyday pleasures.Practicing mindfulness can help. Mindfulness helps us tune into what we’re sensing and experiencing in the present moment—it’s the ability to pay more careful attention to our thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations, without judging them as good or bad. Research suggests that it can not only reduce stress but also increase our experience of positive emotions.One of the most basic and widely used methods for cultivating mindfulness is to focus your attention on each of your senses as you eat a raisin. This simple exercise is often used as an introduction to the practice of mindfulness. In addition to increasing mindfulness more generally, the raisin meditation can promote mindful eating and foster a healthier relationship with food. Try it with a single raisin—you might find that it’s the most delicious raisin you’ve ever eaten.


TIME REQUIRED Five minutes daily for at least a week. Evidence suggests that mindfulness increases the more you practice it.


HOW TO DO IT1. Holding: First, take a raisin and hold it in the palm of your hand or between your finger and thumb.2. Seeing: Take time to really focus on it; gaze at the raisin with care and full attention—imagine that you’ve just dropped in from Mars and have never seen an object like this before in your life. Let your eyes explore every part of it, examining the highlights where the light shines, the darker hollows, the folds and ridges, and any asymmetries or unique features.3. Touching: Turn the raisin over between your fingers, exploring its texture. Maybe do this with your eyes closed if that enhances your sense of touch.4. Smelling: Hold the raisin beneath your nose. With each inhalation, take in any smell, aroma, or fragrance that may arise. As you do this, notice anything interesting that may be happening in your mouth or stomach.


5. Placing: Now slowly bring the raisin up to your lips, noticing how your hand and arm know exactly how and where to position it. Gently place the raisin in your mouth; without chewing, noticing how it gets into your mouth in the first place. Spend a few moments focusing on the sensations of having it in your mouth, exploring it with your tongue.


6. Tasting: When you are ready, prepare to chew the raisin, noticing how and where it needs to be for chewing. Then, very consciously, take one or two bites into it and notice what happens in the aftermath, experiencing any waves of taste that emanate from it as you continue chewing. Without swallowing yet, notice the bare sensations of taste and texture in your mouth and how these may change over time, moment by moment. Also pay attention to any changes in the object itself.


7. Swallowing: When you feel ready to swallow the raisin, see if you can first detect the intention to swallow as it comes up, so that even this is experienced consciously before you actually swallow the raisin.8. Following: Finally, see if you can feel what is left of the raisin moving down into your stomach, and sense how your body as a whole is feeling after you have completed this exercise.





MINDFUL BREATHING


Difficulty: CASUAL | Frequency: 1X/DAY| Duration: 15 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITStress, anger, and anxiety can impair not only our health but our judgement and skills ofattention. Fortunately, research suggests an effective way to deal with these difficultyfeelings: the practice of "mindfulness,” the ability to pay careful attention to what you'rethinking, feeling, and sensing in the present moment without judging those thoughts andfeelings as good or bad. Countless studies link mindfulness to better health, loweranxiety, and greater resilience to stress. But how do you cultivate mindfulness? A basic method is to focus your attention on your own breathing—a practice called, quite simply, "mindful breathing." After setting aside time to practice mindful breathing, you should find it easier to focus attention on your breath in your daily life—an important skill to help you deal with stress, anxiety, and negative emotions, cool yourself down when your temper flares, and sharpen your skills of concentration.


TIME REQUIRED15 minutes daily for at least a week (though evidence suggests that mindfulness increases the more you practice it).


HOW TO DO ITThe most basic way to do mindful breathing is simply to focus your attention on your breath, the inhale and exhale. You can do this while standing, but ideally you’ll be sitting or even lying in a comfortable position. Your eyes may be open or closed, but you may find it easier to maintain your focus if you close your eyes. It can help to set aside a designated time for this exercise, but it can also help to practice it when you’re feeling particularly stressed or anxious. Experts believe a regular practice of mindful breathing can make it easier to do it in difficult situations. Sometimes, especially when trying to calm yourself in a stressful moment, it might help to start by taking an exaggerated breath: a deep inhale through your nostrils (3 seconds), hold your breath (2 seconds), and a long exhale through your mouth (4 seconds). Otherwise, simply observe each breath without trying to adjust it; it may help to focus on the rise and fall of your chest or the sensation through your nostrils. As you do so, you may find that your mind wanders, distracted by thoughts or bodily sensations. That’s OK. Just notice that this is happening and gently bring your attention back to your breath. To provide even more structure, and help you lead this practice for others, below are steps for a short guided meditation. You can listen to audio of this guided meditation, produced by UCLA’s Mindful Awareness Research Center (MARC), in the player below; if it doesn't play, you can find it here or download it from MARC's website.  http://marc.ucla.edu/body.cfm?id=22



1. Find a relaxed, comfortable position. You could be seated on a chair or on the floor on a cushion. Keep your backupright, but not too tight. Hands resting wherever they’re comfortable. Tongue on the roof of your mouth or whereverit’s comfortable.2. Notice and relax your body. Try to notice the shape of your body, its weight. Let yourself relax and become curiousabout your body seated here—the sensations it experiences, the touch, the connection with the floor or the chair. Relaxany areas of tightness or tension. Just breathe.3. Tune into your breath. Feel the natural flow of breath—in, out. You don’t need to do anything to your breath. Not long,not short, just natural. Notice where you feel your breath in your body. It might be in your abdomen. It may be in yourchest or throat or in your nostrils. See if you can feel the sensations of breath, one breath at a time. When one breathends, the next breath begins.  4. Now as you do this, you might notice that your mind may start to wander. You may start thinking about other things. Ifthis happens, it is not a problem. It's very natural. Just notice that your mind has wandered. You can say “thinking” or“wandering” in your head softly. And then gently redirect your attention right back to the breathing.5. Stay here for five to seven minutes. Notice your breath, in silence. From time to time, you’ll get lost in thought, thenreturn to your breath.  6. After a few minutes, once again notice your body, your whole body, seated here. Let yourself relax even more deeplyand then offer yourself some appreciation for doing this practice today.




GRATITUDE JOURNAL


Difficulty: CASUAL | Frequency: 1X/WEEK | Duration: 10 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITIt’s easy to take the good things and people in our lives for granted, but research suggests that consciously giving thanks for them can have profound effects on our well-being and relationships. This exercise helps you develop a greater appreciation for the good in your life. In fact, people who routinely express gratitude enjoy better health and greater happiness.


TIME REQUIRED 15 minutes per day, at least once per week for at least two weeks. Studies suggest that writing in a gratitude journal three times per week might actually have a greater impact on our happiness than journaling every day.


HOW TO DO IT. There’s no wrong way to keep a gratitude journal, but here are some general instructions as you get started.Write down up to five things for which you feel grateful. The physical record is important—don’t just do this exercise in your head. The things you list can be relatively small in importance (“The tasty sandwich I had for lunch today.”) or relatively large (“My sister gave birth to a healthy baby boy.”). The goal of the exercise is to remember a good event, experience, person, or thing in your life—then enjoy the good emotions that come with it.As you write, here are nine important tips:Be as specific as possible—specificity is key to fostering gratitude. “I’m grateful that my co-workers brought me soup when I was sick on Tuesday” will be more effective than “I’m grateful for my co-workers.”Go for depth over breadth. Elaborating in detail about a particular person or thing for which you’re grateful carries more benefits than a superficial list of many things.Get personal. Focusing on people to whom you are grateful has more of an impact than focusing on things for which you are grateful.Try subtraction, not just addition. Consider what your life would be like without certain people or things, rather than just tallying up all the good stuff. Be grateful for the negative outcomes you avoided, escaped, prevented, or turned into something positive—try not to take that good fortune for granted.See good things as “gifts.” Thinking of the good things in your life as gifts guards against taking them for granted. Try to relish and savor the gifts you’ve received.Savor surprises. Try to record events that were unexpected or surprising, as these tend to elicit stronger levels of gratitude.Revise if you repeat. Writing about some of the same people and things is OK, but zero in on a different aspect in detail.Write regularly. Whether you write every other day or once a week, commit to a regular time to journal, then honor that commitment. But…Don’t overdo it. Evidence suggests writing occasionally (1-3 times per week) is more beneficial than daily journaling. That might be because we adapt to positive events and can soon become numb to them—that’s why it helps to savor surprises.




AWE NARRATIVE


Difficulty: CASUAL | Frequency: VARIABLE | Duration: 15 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITThis exercise asks you to recall and describe a time when you experienced awe. Awe is an emotion that is elicited by experiences that challenge and expand our typical way of seeing the world. Research suggests that awe involves sensing the presence of something greater than the self, along with decreased self-consciousness and a decreased focus on minor, everyday concerns. Experiences of awe have been shown to expand people’s perception of time and improve life satisfaction.


TIME REQUIRED 15 minutes


HOW TO DO IT. Think back to a time when you felt a sense of awe regarding something you witnessed or experienced. Awe has been defined as a response to things that are perceived as vast and overwhelming and that alter the way you understand the world. This sense of vastness can be physical (e.g., a panoramic view from a mountaintop) or psychological (e.g., a brilliant idea). People may experience awe when they are in the presence of a beautiful natural landscape or work of art, when they watch a moving speech or performance, when they witness an act of great altruism, or when they have a spiritual or religious experience.  Try to think of the most recent experience you’ve had that involved the feeling of awe. Once you identify something, describe it in writing with as much detail as possible.




MENTAL SUBTRACTION OF POSITIVE EVENTS


Difficulty: CASUAL | Frequency: 1X/WEEK | Duration: 15 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITIt’s easy to take the good things in life for granted, but research suggests that the more we stop to appreciate what we have, the happier and healthier we are. This exercise is designed to help you increase feelings of gratitude for positive events in your life by visualizing what your life would be like without them. By getting a taste of their absence, you should be able to appreciate their presence in your life more deeply—without actually having to lose them for real.It’s like being in the movie It’s a Wonderful Life—or Joni Mitchell’s song “Big Yellow Taxi,” where "you don't know what you've got till it's gone.”


TIME REQUIRED15 minutes. Try to make time to do this practice once per week, focusing on a different positive event each week. It might help to do this practice at the same time each week—before bed each Sunday evening, perhaps, or at lunch every Friday.


HOW TO DO IT1. Take a moment to think about a positive event in your life, such as an educational or career achievement, the birth of a child, or a special trip you took.  2. Think back to the time of this event and the circumstances that made it possible.3. Consider the ways in which this event may never have happened—for example, if you hadn’t happened to learn about a certain job opening at the right moment. 4. Write down all of the possible events and decisions—large and small—that could have gone differently and prevented this event from occurring.5.  Imagine what your life would be like now if you hadn’t enjoyed this positive event and all the fruits that flowed from it.6. Shift your focus to remind yourself that this event actually did happen and reflect upon the benefits it has brought you. Now that you have considered how things might have turned out differently, appreciate that these benefits were not inevitable in your life. Allow yourself to feel grateful that things happened as they did.




MENTAL SUBTRACTION OF RELATIONSHIPS


Difficulty: CASUAL | Frequency: 1X/WEEK | Duration: 15 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITIt’s easy to take the important people in our lives for granted, but research suggests that if we experience and express gratitude for them, our relationships will be stronger and our lives will be happier. This exercise is designed to stoke feelings of gratitude for one of these people—such as a romantic partner or close friend—by asking you to think about what your life might have been like had you never met him or her. By getting a taste of their absence, you should be able to appreciate their presence in your life more deeply—without actually having to lose them for real.


TIME REQUIRED15 minutes. Try to make time to do this practice once per week, focusing on a different person each week. It might help to do this practice at the same time each week—before bed each Sunday evening, say, or at lunch every Friday.HOW TO DO IT1. Take a moment to think about an important relationship in your life, such as a romantic relationship or close friendship.2. Think back to where and how you met this person.3. Consider the ways in which you might never have met this person and never formed a friendship or relationship—for example, if you hadn’t decided to go to a certain party, taken a certain class, or moved to a certain city.4. Write down all of the possible events and decisions—large and small—that could have gone differently and prevented you from meeting this person.5. Imagine what your life would be like now if events had unfolded differently and you had never met this person. Bring to mind some of the joys and benefits you have enjoyed as a result of this relationship—and consider how you would feel if you were denied all of them.6. Shift your focus to remind yourself that you did actually meet this person and reflect upon the benefits this relationship has brought you. Now that you have considered   how things might have turned out differently, appreciate that these benefits were not inevitable in your life. Allow yourself to feel grateful that things happened as they did   and this person is now in your life.




AWE VIDEO


Difficulty: CASUAL | Frequency: 1X/MONTH | Duration: 5 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITIt’s easy to feel bogged down by daily routines and mundane concerns, stifling our sense of creativity and wonder. Feeling awe can reawaken those feelings of inspiration.Awe is induced by experiences that challenge and expand our typical way of seeing the world, often because we sense that we’re in the presence of something greater than ourselves. Research suggests that experiencing awe improves people’s satisfaction with life, makes them feel like they have more time, makes them feel less self-conscious, and reduces their focus on trivial concerns.But in our everyday lives, we might not regularly encounter things that fill us with awe. That’s where this practice comes in. It’s a way to infuse your day with a dose of wonder even if you can’t make it to an inspiring vista or museum.


TIME REQUIREDFour minutes


HOW TO DO ITSet aside four minutes to watch the video below. Put the video in full screen mode and try to give it your full attention.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6-2fVsFV8E


Note that this video is just one example of a visual experience that can elicit awe; there are countless others, and being exposed to them can have similar effects. The videos and other stimuli that inspire awe tend to share two key features:They involve a sense of vastness that puts into perspective your own relatively small place in the world. This vastness could be either physical (e.g., a panoramic view from a mountaintop) or psychological (e.g., an exceptionally courageous or heroic act of conscience).They alter the way you understand the world. For instance, they might make your everyday concerns seem less important, or they might expand your beliefs about the reaches of human potential.




AWE STORY


Difficulty: CASUAL | Frequency: 1X/WEEK | Duration: 10 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITIt’s easy to feel bogged down by daily routines and mundane concerns, stifling our sense of creativity and wonder. Feeling awe can reawaken those feelings of inspiration.Awe is induced by experiences that challenge and expand our typical way of seeing the world, often because we sense that we’re in the presence of something greater than ourselves. Research suggests that experiencing awe improves people’s satisfaction with life, makes them feel like they have more time, makes them feel less self-conscious, and reduces their focus on trivial concerns.But in our everyday lives, we might not regularly encounter things that fill us with awe. That’s where this practice comes in. It’s a way to experience awe even if you can’t make it to an inspiring vista or museum. It involves reading a story that has been shown to induce awe, giving you the chance to infuse even your most mundane days with a dose of wonder.


TIME REQUIRED10 minutes to read this story. For a regular dose of awe, try to make time to read a story like this at least once per week.


HOW TO DO ITSet aside at least 10 minutes to read the story below. Of course, reading a story like this is not the only way to elicit awe, and there are many different types of stories that could have this effect. The stories and other stimuli that inspire awe tend to share two key features:They involve a sense of vastness that puts into perspective your own relatively small place in the world. This vastness could be either physical (e.g., a panoramic view from a mountaintop) or psychological (e.g., an exceptionally courageous or heroic act of conscience).They alter the way you understand the world. For instance, they might make your everyday concerns seem less important, or they might expand your beliefs about the reaches of human potential.


Read the story below to experience these dimensions of awe.


Imagine you’re getting ready to go on a trip to Europe. Although you’ve seen parts of Europe in photos and on television, you know that seeing things in person will be a completely different experience. You’re particularly excited to begin the trip in one of the most inspiring capitals of the continent—the magnificent city of Paris.As soon as you arrive in Paris, you’re overwhelmed by the grandeur and beauty of the historic city. The sights, smells, and sounds are like nothing you have ever experienced. Everywhere you look there is something new to capture your imagination. Scanning the view from left to right, you’re surrounded by beautiful buildings. Famous museums and churches beckon for you to absorb the stories of their rich past, while centuries-old hotels and city buildings exude majesty and history. As you pass by them, you’re amazed by the elaborate architectural designs and the ornate details. Between two of the buildings, you catch a glimpse of the Eiffel tower in the distance. Seeing it for the first time in person, your eyes widen and your senses feel wide awake. Although it looks small from where you are, the incredible height of the tower becomes clear as you walk toward it.Standing a block from the tower, you’re overwhelmed by the sheer size and grandeur of the structure. The intricately woven beams of steel rise high from the ground, and you feel completely dwarfed standing next to it. You look up, but you can’t even see the top. The magnitude of the tower is enormous and it feels even more amazing being there in person than you could have ever imagined. The metal beams rising from the ground are larger than the biggest tree trunks you’ve ever seen. You touch them: As your hands come in contact with the cold metal, you feel the presence of something greater than yourself, not just physically, but in human history. You can’t believe that something so tremendous was built by man.     You take the elevator to the top. During the ride you can’t help but think back to the first time you saw the Grand Canyon—that moment when everything around you stops as you try to comprehend what’s in front of you. Finally, the elevator doors begin to open, and there it is—Paris all around you. As you take in the overwhelming sight, your mouth opens and you catch your breath. The famed City of Lights stretches for miles in all directions around you, yet from this vantage point the hustle and bustle below cease to exist. As your body is enveloped by a strong feeling of wonder, you scan the enormous panorama and try to take in everything that’s in front of you. You lose yourself in the beauty of the sight.




PUTTING A HUMAN FACE ON SUFFERING


Difficulty: CASUAL | Frequency: 1X/MONTH | Duration: VARIABLE


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITResearch suggests that humans have a strong propensity for kindness and generosity, and that kindness improves the health and happiness of the giver, not only of the receiver. But we don't always act on our altruistic instincts. Frequently, that’s because we see a problem—such as poverty or illness—only in terms of statistics rather than as the suffering of real human beings.This exercise helps you overcome that challenge by putting a “human face” on a problem. It builds on studies suggesting that people are more likely to contribute to a cause if they are able to identify specific people in need. It can not only be used for yourself but also to help you elicit altruism from others, including your children, students, or people you are trying to get to donate to an important cause.


TIME REQUIREDHow long it takes you to do this practice will vary depending on which strategy you choose, but make it a goal to follow one of these strategies at least once a month.


HOW TO DO ITTo inspire others (or yourself) to give time or resources to a cause, try at least one of the following strategies. However, avoid explicitly telling others that you are using these strategies to get them to give more—research suggests that can backfire.When researching a problem in news reports or other sources, look for profiles of specific individuals.Use photographs and video footage—not just individuals’ names—in your appeal to make the problem more vivid and emotionally moving.Use descriptive language and identifiable details that allow people to imagine themselves in a specific victim’s shoes, rather than abstract language that presents facts and statistics.Don’t feature the stories of too many individuals; research suggests it's easier to foster an emotional connection to a single person in need than to multiple people.When possible, try to make direct contact with victims. For example, if you are a teacher, consider bringing in a speaker—in person or via a video call— who can share a first-hand story with your students (assuming you can’t visit the disaster site with a relief organization, which would be even more effective).




SELF-COMPASSION BREAK


Difficulty: CASUAL | Frequency: 1X/DAY | Duration: 5 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITDifficult situations become even harder when we beat ourselves up over them, interpreting them as a sign that we’re less capable or worthy than other people. In fact, we often judge ourselves more harshly than we judge others, especially when we make a mistake or feel stressed out. That makes us feel isolated, unhappy, and even more stressed; it may even make us try to feel better about ourselves by denigrating other people.Rather than harsh self-criticism, a healthier response is to treat yourself with compassion and understanding. According to psychologist Kristin Neff, this “self-compassion” has three main components: mindfulness, a feeling of common humanity, and self-kindness. This exercise walks you through all three of those components when you’re going through a stressful experience. Research suggests that people who treat themselves with compassion rather than criticism in difficult times experience greater physical and mental health.


TIME REQUIRED5 minutes. While it may be challenging to do this practice every time you face a stressful situation, an initial goal could be to try it at least once per week.


HOW TO DO IT1. Think of a situation in your life that is difficult and is causing you stress.2. Call the situation to mind and see if you can actually feel the stress and emotional discomfort in your body.3. Now say to yourself, “This is a moment of suffering.” This acknowledgment is a form of mindfulness—of simply noticing what is going on for you emotionally in the present moment, without judging that experience as good or bad. You can also say to yourself, “This hurts,” or, “This is stress.” Use whatever statement feels most natural to you.4. Next,say to yourself, “Suffering is a part of life.” This is a recognition of your common humanity with others—that all people have trying experiences, and these experiences give you something in common with the rest of humanity rather than mark you as abnormal or deficient. Other options for this statement include “Other people feel this way,” “I’m not alone,” or “We all struggle in our lives.”5. Now, put your hands over your heart, feel the warmth of your hands and the gentle touch on your chest, and say, “May I be kind to myself.” This is a way to express self-kindness. You can also consider whether there is another specific phrase that would speak to you in that particular situation. Some examples: “May I give myself the compassion that I need,” “May I accept myself as I am,” “May I learn to accept myself as I am,” “May I forgive myself,” “May I be strong,” and “May I be patient.”This practice can be used any time of day or night. If you practice it in moments of relative calm, it might become easier for you to experience the three parts of self-compassion—mindfulness, common humanity, and self-kindness—when you need them most.




HOW WOULD YOU TREAT A FRIEND?


Difficulty: CASUAL | Frequency: 1X/DAY | Duration: 15 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITResearch suggests that people are usually harder on themselves than they are on others. Rather than motivating them to succeed, this often makes a mistake or stressful situation even more stressful—to the point that they’ll simply avoid new or challenging experiences for fearing of failing and eliciting a new wave of self-criticism.This exercise asks you to notice the differences between the way you typically treat the people you care about and the way you typically treat yourself. It also asks you to consider why there may be differences between the two, and to contemplate what would happen if you treated yourself as compassionately as you treat others. Research suggests that treating yourself more compassionately can benefit your physical and mental health.


TIME REQUIRED15 minutes. While it may be hard to find time to do this practice every time you are struggling with a difficult situation, an initial goal could be to try it once a month.


HOW TO DO ITTake out a sheet of paper or open a blank document on your computer and go through the following steps.First, think about times when a close friend feels really bad about him- or herself or is really struggling in some way. How do you respond to your friend in these situations (if you’re at your best)? Please write down what you typically do and say, and note the tone in which you talk to your friend.Now think about times when you feel bad about yourself or are struggling. How do you typically respond to yourself in these situations? Please write down what you typically do and say, and note the tone in which you talk to yourself.Did you notice a difference? If so, ask yourself why. What factors or fears come into play that lead you to treat yourself and others so differently?Write down how you think things might change if you responded to yourself when you’re suffering in the same way you typically respond to a close friend.Next time you are struggling with something, try treating yourself like a good friend and see what happens.




WALKING MEDITATION


Difficulty: CASUAL | Frequency: 1X/DAY | Duration: 10 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITMuch of our time is spent rushing from place to place, so preoccupied with our next activity that we don’t really notice what we’re doing now. We risk not really experiencing our life as we live it.Practicing mindfulness can help. Mindfulness helps us tune into what we’re sensing and experiencing in the present moment—it’s the ability to pay more careful attention to our thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations, without judging them as good or bad. Research suggests that it can not only reduce stress but also increase our experience of positive emotions.One of the basic methods for cultivating mindfulness is a “walking meditation,” which involves focusing closely on the physical experience of walking, paying attention to the specific components of each step. With practice, an everyday action that you do automatically, even mindlessly, can become an opportunity for greater focus and awareness—a habit you can try to bring to other mundane activities as well. Some experts recommend alternating the walking meditation with other forms of meditation to keep your practice varied and determine which form feels best for you.


TIME REQUIRED10 minutes daily for at least a week. Evidence suggests that mindfulness increases the more you practice it.


HOW TO DO ITThe steps below are adapted from a guided walking meditation led by mindfulness expert Jon Kabat-Zinn, a recording of which can be found here.Find a location. Find a lane that allows you to walk back and forth for 10-15 paces—a place that is relatively peaceful, where you won’t be disturbed or even observed (since a slow, formal walking meditation can look strange to people who are unfamiliar with it). You can practice walking meditation either indoors or outside in nature. The lane doesn’t have to be very long since the goal is not to reach a specific destination, just to practice a very intentional form of walking where you’re mostly retracing your steps.Start your steps. Walk 10-15 steps along the lane you’ve chosen, and then pause and breathe for as long as you like. When you’re ready, turn and walk back in the opposite direction to the other end of the lane, where you can pause and breathe again. Then, when you’re ready, turn once more and continue with the walk.The components of each step. Walking meditation involves very deliberating thinking about and doing a series of actions that you normally do automatically. Breaking these steps down in your mind may feel awkward, even ridiculous. But you should try to notice at least these four basic components of each step: a) the lifting of one foot;b) the moving of the foot a bit forward of where you’re standing;c) the placing of the foot on the floor, heal first;d) the shifting of the weight of the body onto the forward leg as the back heel lifts, while the toes of that foot remain touching the floor or the ground.Then the cycle continues, as you:a) lift your back foot totally off the ground;b) observe the back foot as it swings forward and lowers;c) observe the back foot as it makes contact with the ground, heel first;d) feel the weight shift onto that foot as the body moves forward.Speed. You can walk at any speed, but in Kabat-Zinn’s Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) program, walking meditation is slow and involves taking small steps. Most important is that it feel natural, not exaggerated or stylized.Hands and arms. You can clasp your hands behind your back or in front of you, or you can just let them hang at your side—whatever feels most comfortable and natural.Focusing your attention. As you walk, try to focus your attention on one or more sensations that you would normally take for granted, such as your breath coming in and out of your body; the movement of your feet and legs, or their contact with the ground or floor; your head balanced on your neck and shoulders; sounds nearby or those caused by the movement of your body; or whatever your eyes take in as they focus on the world in front of you.What to do when your mind wanders. No matter how much you try to fix your attention on any of these sensations, your mind will inevitably wander. That’s OK—it’s perfectly natural. When you notice your mind wandering, simply try again to focus it one of those sensations.Integrating walking meditation into your daily life. For many people, slow, formal walking meditation is an acquired taste. But the more you practice, even for short periods of time, the more it is likely to grow on you. Keep in mind that you can also bring mindfulness to walking at any speed in your everyday life, and even to running, though of course the pace of your steps and breath will change. In fact, over time, you can try to bring the same degree of awareness to any everyday activity, experiencing the sense of presence that is available to us at every moment as our lives unfold.




FEELING SUPPORTED


Difficulty: CASUAL | Frequency: 1X/MONTH | Duration: 15 MINS


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITMost of us want to be kind and caring, but that can be easier said than done, especially when we feel stressed, threatened, or insecure. Often in those moments, our natural reaction is to focus on ourselves and make sure that we’re safe instead of paying attention to other people’s needs and supporting them. But disconnecting from others can actually exacerbate our stress.This exercise helps free you from that downward spiral. It asks you to think about the people you turn to when you’re distressed and recall times when you’ve felt comforted by them. Research suggests that increasing momentary feelings of comfort by thinking about supportive relationships can make us more trusting, compassionate, and helpful toward others in general.


TIME REQUIRED15 minutes. Try to do this practice once a month to sustain your feelings of trust and connection.


HOW TO DO ITWrite down the names of six people to whom you turn when you feel distressed or worried.Write down six positive qualities that are common to these people--qualities that they strongly embody.Next, recall and visualize a specific situation when you were feeling distressed or worried and one of these people comforted and helped you.Write a brief description of that situation and the way you felt during it.




ENCOURAGING KINDNESS IN KIDS


Difficulty: CASUAL | Frequency: 1X/WEEK | Duration: VARIABLE


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITResearch suggests that children have a strong, perhaps innate, propensity for kind or altruistic behavior, which involves acting to promote someone else’s welfare, even at a cost to oneself. However, research also suggests that there are particular ways kids can be encouraged—or discouraged—from acting on this propensity. In particular, their penchant for kindness can be influenced by how adults praise or criticize them. Sometimes, even subtle actions and word choices by parents, teachers, and other adults can make a big difference. This practice offers specific techniques that can help nudge kids toward kindness and generosity, behaviors that are not only good for the people they help but for their own well-being, too: Studies have found that altruistic people tend to have better social relationships and experience greater happiness.


TIME REQUIREDThe time required for any of these techniques will vary. Try to use one of them at least once per week.


HOW TO DO ITAvoid using external rewards to reinforce altruistic behavior. For instance, you may want to think twice before telling kids that they’ll get a special treat if they share their toys, or promising them extra TV time if they help clean up after dinner. As tempting as it may be to reward kids when they do something kind, that approach can backfire: They may learn that kindness is only worth performing when they’ll be given some kind of prize as a result. Instead, kids should get to experience the feeling that kindness is its own reward—a view backed up by neuroscience studies showing that pleasure centers of the brain light up when people behave altruistically.Praise character, not behavior. Research suggests that children are more likely to make kindness a habit if they are praised for being kind people rather than just for doing something kind. For example, saying, “You’re such a helpful person” may be more effective than saying, “That was such a helpful thing to do.” Praising their character encourages children to see kindness as an essential part of who they are and seems to be especially effective around age eight, when children are forming their moral identities.But criticize behavior, not character. In other words, it’s OK to induce guilt but not shame. Children who feel guilt (“I did a bad thing”) after wrongdoing are more likely to feel remorse and make amends than those who feel shame (“I am a bad person”). Criticizing a behavior conveys that it’s possible for the child to change his or her behavior and make better choices in the future. Such criticism may be especially effective when it also includes positive affirmation (e.g., “You’re a good person, and I know you can do better.”)Model altruistic behavior. Ultimately, actions speak louder than words when it comes to cultivating altruism. Research shows that when children witness adults behaving altruistically, they are more likely to behave altruistically themselves, regardless of what the adults say to them about the importance of altruism.




GIVE IT UP


Difficulty: CASUAL | Frequency: 1X/MONTH | Duration: 1 WEEK


WHY YOU SHOULD TRY ITResearch suggests that one of the biggest challenges to lasting happiness is our great capacity for adaptation: We tend to get used to the things that bring us pleasure in life, and before long, their positive effects wear off. We no longer enjoy them in the way we once did.However, research has identified a way to sustain these little pleasures over time: by temporarily giving them up. That can lead us to enjoy and savor that activity more once we resume it—and the ability to savor the small pleasures in life is a key to happiness. This practice guides you through the process of abstaining from a pleasurable activity for a week as a way to heighten your appreciation of it. Over time, the goal is not only to derive more pleasure from this activity but to recognize how we take lots of pleasures for granted and to try to savor them more.


TIME REQUIREDOne week. See if you can give up a different pleasure for one week each month.


HOW TO DO ITSelect something that you enjoy doing on a regular basis and that you have unlimited or nearly unlimited access to. A good choice may be a particular food or beverage that you enjoy, such as chocolate or beer.On Day 1, allow yourself to indulge as you normally would in this activity. Scarf down a chocolate bar. Pour yourself a glass of wine. Veg out in front of the TV.Then, for one week, do not allow yourself to indulge in this pleasure at all. If you’re giving up chocolate, abstain from any foods that contain it; if you’re giving up TV, try not to even watch a video on your phone.At the end of the week, allow yourself to indulge again. As you do so, pay attention to how you feel. Are you noticing certain physical sensations (e.g., taste and texture of the chocolate) more than usual? How pleasurable is the experience? What kind of mood are you in?Try to go through this same process with a different pleasure the following month. And in between these weeks of abstinence, try to focus your attention on the pleasures you enjoy every day. What are the activities or experiences that you actually enjoy doing? What do you enjoy about them—how do they make you feel? How do you think you would feel if you were prevented from enjoying this activity ever again?


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